ByJawaun Hudson, writer at

You ever been in a situation with your woman where you had to actually choose between her or your own personal video game system? Like you either had to choose between going to dinner with her side of the family, the dry, dismal, boring, leering, judgmental side of Mrs. Smith, or stay at home and play the video game online with the kitchen, the bathroom, the entire house to yourself? I know it. You’re probably thinking how does that sound like a good time, especially when you would rather have the company of a beautifully attractive woman in your arms? Hear me out for a second while I show you just exactly how heavenly that sounds.

First of all, yes a having a woman does have its perks: lips, legs, breast, and booty. However, let’s look at what comes with such a glorious package: periods, nagging, and possible reasons of death or destruction such as her standing in your way while you’re in the middle of a very important level so she could get your attention or finding out you cheated on her and she goes off, crazier than usual, and destroys your favorite game system and its entirety, including the games that you worked so hard for. In addition to that, we also have those that just might be better than you at video games, but that is like a double edged battle axe because she could also help you out with the harder levels and thus the bonding happens. Yeah, still not liking the odds.

Now, let’s talk about the pros of choosing your video game over your woman. First of all, the game does not talk. At all. It could not possibly nag you in the way a woman could unless my PS4 transformed into a PMS4 and I doubt that’s a new feature unless I missed an update or something. It will not bore you with talk of its day, for those of you who do not enjoy talking to your girl about her boring day, it will not pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to do like taking out the trash, doing the dishes, walking the dog, etc. It won’t make accusations of you cheating on it with another game system, it won’t even question if you’ve played another game system. Why? Because it’s a game and utilized properly, it will make sure that you have a fantastic day. Even if all it does is sit on its server all day.

When presented this to my sister, she told me “Yeah, you can keep your game, but it’ll never be able to satisfy you the way a woman would.” In a particular way, she’s right. A video game will never be able to please use the way a woman would, but sex is never 100% of the relationship and sometimes, believe it or not, most guys would just love to be around the woman that they love, hoping that she’d learn to love the game just as much as he and then, hopefully, finish a game together. This also brings up my last point about video games: camaraderie, friendship, amity. Most video games -with the exception of maybe “Mario Kart”, “Fusion Frenzy”, and “Mario Party”- have brought people together on many occasions, some of you I’m sure can attest to this, for a great time with food, friends, and fun. The feeling of happiness, love, and acceptance with the faint aroma of pleasure gently floating its way towards the nose of family because that’s what video games create: a family.

So in conclusion to this very long, probably boorish rant about how video games can be just as enjoyable as a woman, only during particular moments of one’s life, making it so your life isn’t as dull as you think it is, creating a virtual heaven on earth for you to escape such hardships that life throws at you. Maybe this doesn’t make sense and maybe this was blindly created by my preconceived notions that a video game can be as enjoyable as a woman. Who knows? I just know that games, not just modern ones, have always brought people together for the same goal: to have fun, to feel like there’s nothing in the world better than being with the people you love the most and if that’s not a superior feeling, then I don’t know what is.


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