ByMarlon McDonald, writer at
Umm... are you going to drink that Skooma?
Marlon McDonald

As the year dwindled on and the prospect of a brand new, and pretty damn good looking, Star Wars movie got closer and realer, truckloads of fan theories began springing out from every corner of the web, pertaining to the various unknown components of the eagerly awaited space opera.

But with us spending so much time looking forward, what about the crazy and wonderful fan theories that are still hovering in orbit of the 6 episodes preceding The Force Awakens?

In their always on point "Today In Nerd History" spots, Dorkly has coughed up 5 interesting theories for you to get your teeth stuck into, like an Ewok into human flesh.

So, get watching then:

If you can't watch, well...


Because who doesn't like GIFs and small paragraphs?

5. Qui-Gon Jinn Is a Secret Sith

He's got a secret! Look at him.
He's got a secret! Look at him.

Qui-Gon Jinn, despite being beautifully portrayed by Liam Neeson, was a bit of a lame device used to spur Obi-Wan into action. But Dorkly posits there was much more to the Jedi than meets the Force-sensitive eye.

They believe Jinn could actually be a Sith due to a few reasons: him having personal ties to Count Dooku, he pushed for the Jedi Council's approval to take Anakin on as a Padawan, despite knowing he was packed full of anger, fear and suffering, and he also had an apprentice that turned to the dark side!

So, is he just crazy gullible, or a shrewd tactician?

4. Stormtroopers Didn't Kill Luke's Aunt & Uncle


The incineration of Luke's aunt and uncle, Beru and Owen, couldn't have been carried out by Stormtroopers, due to their time honored ability at being utterly useless! Plus, there would have to have been a s**t ton of them to literally burn the flesh off of Luke's aunt and uncle, Beru and Owen.

If you recall from Episode 4's added scenes, Boba Fett was on Tatooine the same time the murders were committed, and we all know that he was one ruthless bastard. Even being reprimanded by Vader due to his actions! So, Boba Fett must've killed Luke's adopted family!

3. Tatooine Is the Last Place Darth Vader Would Look for His Son

-d you in 'Jumper', bro
-d you in 'Jumper', bro

In another enlightening and hilarious fact, though leaving the secret son of the most detested Sith Lord in the galaxy, who still bears his surname, on his father's home planet is a bit of a dick move, why the hell would Vader even consider going back to the place that caused him his formative years of pain, in order to look for the one thing that could bring him joy - his son?

I mean, he was raised a slave on Tatooine and he watched his mom die on Tatooine, so why would he suddenly return to Tatooine? Would you?!

2. Han Uses The Force and Doesn't Even Know It

A veritable tour de Force
A veritable tour de Force

There's no denying Han Solo is one of the, if not the, luckiest S.O.B.(s) in the galaxy. He's wormed his way out of so, so many scrapes. But that could be because... he's Force sensitive!

He managed to navigate his way through an veritable killing field of an asteroid belt and when Greedo shot first he superhumanly maneuvered out of the beam's way. Maybe his attunement to the Force drew Ben Kenobi to him? That'd be an interesting point...

1. The Ewoks Are Worse Than Anyone Could Imagine

Gently warm the Han...
Gently warm the Han...

This might've slipped your mind, but when the cute and cuddly Ewoks are getting ready to cook Luke, Han, and Chewie in honor of their "golden god," C-3PO, Dorkly points out that the way the Ewoks have "expertly hogtied" our heroes, it'd be safe to say this wasn't their first time roasting up a person.

So spare a thought for the Stormtroopers that more than likely ended up as Ewok poop, as evidenced by the line-up of helmets being used as instruments during the Ewok party. That's pretty dark, man.

What did you think?

Hilarious theories, but do you think any of them could be plausible?

(Source: Dorkly)


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