ByRyan Adam Fuzessery, writer at
I moved to LA to act, write and direct. Im a huge film aficionado and when i have time i share what interests me on here, enjoy.
Ryan Adam Fuzessery

I saw the first Twilight and thought it was a comedy when i rented it for free from my local library years ago. I then saw AdventureLand because of Bill Hader but i noticed one obvious thing ... Kristen Stewart is a horrid actor, one of the worst if not the worst. Even with this knowledge i still for some reason gave American Ultra a shot since i had access to it for free and the theme was something i share in common so what the hell but i couldn't help wonder, would she let me down again or could she actually manage to act for once? I was so worried...

It started off with a flash to the ending then started off back to the beginning, ok I've seen this before but lets see where it takes me. So far not too bad, a panic attack prone stoner who works at a run down convenient store. Believable. You have my attention so far.

After the simple intro set up, the story then switches over to the CIA headquarters where we find the agency wanting to terminate Jesse's character Mike because the program he was involved in is considered a failure. Oh did i not mention he's a sleeper agent? Jesse playing a tough guy. Yeaaah.

One of the operators wants to spare his life and give him a heads up so she disobeys orders and goes to his store to try to warn him and ends up activating him. She leaves and then some of the CIA goons tries to kill him themselves but fail when they get murdered by Mike in the parking lot when he 'snaps' into his training. Then his girlfriend stoner shows up for support , this is Kirsten's time to prove me wrong ...

Annnd she let me down ... again

Oh sweet lord why cant she act? She just stands there with that slightly parted mouth and talks her cardboard dialogue with the emotion of the deceased.

The movie itself gets worse by the minute. Cliche to the max and dull as ever offering nothing new whatsoever unless you consider Jesse throwing a frying pan up in the air and then shooting it to send the bullet to one of the enemies chest all by topping it off with the stupidest fucking line "Oh, uhhh the old frying pan, bullet trick" genius then well i guess this is for you.

My point is simple, this movie sucks. Kristen Stewart sucks. I felt bad for Jesse being in this as he can do so much better with the right roles. Even if you are in a heightened state this movie will not be funny to you, TRUST me on this. Pass on this and keep passing the bong to the left.

This movie gets the first ever 4 middle fingers

5 Day GIF Challenge :

For each day, use one of the scenarios bellow and tell us a story (real or fictional) using GIFs and/or memes. Remember, these categories are just for inspiration. Feel free to get creative and come up with your own scenarios if you like!

An awkward family film viewing

A date that didn't go well OR exceeded expectations

Watching an emotional film :'-(

Watching your first Rated-R film

A horror flick that you were NOT ready for and/or haunted you for days after

When you have high expectations for a film and it flops

Binge watching a TV series when you KNOW you should go to sleep

Watching a film and everyone else around you is on their phones/being obnoxious

That moment when you DIDN'T see the plot twist coming

Watching a film that's got you laughing uncontrollably


Share your stories and use the 5 Day GIF Challenge, then nominate any members of the Moviepilot community who you'd like to see carry the torch.



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