ByHeather Snowden, writer at
Lover of bad puns, nostalgic feels and all things Winona. Email: [email protected] Tweet: @heathbetweetin
Heather Snowden

So, if you were sitting there thinking, 'you know what the world needs? more mouth-to-ass toys,' then this is the article for you. Enabling kids and adults everywhere to play the psychotically unhinged scientist, Dr. Josef Heiter, Geek Life has introduced a series of Human Centipede figurines for you to link-up to your sick hearts' content.

Coming in four different colors: flesh (obvs), red, blue and green, they cost just a snip at $17 each, which, if you think about it, is a small price to pay for living out a fantasy in a way which won't result in you securing a spot on death row.

The toys are available on the Japanese company's online shop, Geek Life Store, as of today, which means you can now officially connect as many mouths to anuses as your wallet will allow.

For example, if you happened to have $8,500 knocking around, you could make a replica of the 500 prisoners in Human Centipede III, wouldn't that be awesome?

If these particular toys don't tickle your fancy, luckily there are plenty of alternatives on the market. Such as...

1. This charming cat toy

Because nothing says "I love you, kitty" like a catnip stuffed treat.

2. This My Little Pony creation truly shows how magic their friendship really is

Can you see their 'cutie marks'?

3. This bumper sticker will totally pimp your ride

Personalized, for your pleasure.

4. Just three 'Deady Bears,' down on their luck

This 'Bearipede' comes with its very own autopsy report. Lovely.

5. Each doll in this train is made-to-measure

Because there is nothing more irritating than a poorly fitting face.

6. And one more, for when you've finished with all of the above

So you can smoke the pain away...*

*not really.

Source: Comic Book


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