ByMark Hofmeyer, writer at
Awesomeness is my goal.
Mark Hofmeyer

I was listening to the Movies, Films and Flix podcast yesterday and the topic was cinematic fantasy football.The MFF crew picked some unique players (Sarlacc Pit as a wide receiver) and it got me thinking about who I would draft.

Since Halloween is around the corner I figured I would put together a football squad comprised of horror movie characters. Since nobody wants to read through 20+ positions I put together a short list and hopefully you all can finish the rest of the team in the comments.

Here is the poster for my horror movie football team.

I decided to draft a quarterback, running back, offensive guard, wide receiver, cornerback and linebackers. It is an odd collection of characters that I think are pretty great. I'm definitely going a perfect 16-0 with this team.

Quarterback - Ash (Bruce Campbell) from the Evil Dead series -The dude has been hit by everything and still keeps going. Plus, Evil Ash will be his back-up QB. Also, his intimate knowledge of the shotgun makes him great in the shotgun formation.

Negatives: Easily forgets plays, and his chin has trouble fitting in the strap.

Ash will thrive when getting all the attention.
Ash will thrive when getting all the attention.

Linebacking Core

Nada (Roddy Piper) from They Live Long hair, kicks ass, chews bubble gum and hates aliens.

Negatives: He always tries to make people put on glasses.

Frank (David Keith) from They Live – Knows Russell and Piper. Dude can take a beating and still survive. He is the only man to stand tough in massive brawls and survive a shape shifting creature.

Negatives: Always a supporting character. Isn’t flashy. Solid numbers every year.

R.J. (Kurt Russell) from The Thing – Reads people well and survives monster attacks. The guy was the last person standing in Antarctica against a crazy alien. He could pretty much tackle anything. Great hair!

Negatives: Duh….he’s Kurt Russel, bro!

You will not run past these guys.
You will not run past these guys.

Offensive Guard - The fog from The Fog – you have no choice but to run around the fog or get sucked in. Plus there are thousands of people in there. Many hands to block.

Negative: With many hands come many hands to the face penalties.

You are gonna have to run around us.
You are gonna have to run around us.

Running back - Dracula (Gary Oldman) Bram Stoker's Dracula - Bat, wolf, old, smart and fast. There is no tape on him because he doesn’t show up on film.

Negatives: Can only play night games.

(In Dracula voice) I want to run the ball.
(In Dracula voice) I want to run the ball.

Cornerback - Sebastian (Kevin Bacon) from Hollow Man - Good luck opposing quarterback. You are going to throw a lot of interceptions.

Negatives: Kind of gross. Watches cheerleaders during the game.

You won't see me coming.
You won't see me coming.

I know It is a television miniseries but I had to pick him.

Wide Receiver: Pennywise (Tim Curry) – It – Nobody will want to cover him. The dude is a freaky clown who can turn into a spider.

Negatives: It’s nearly impossible to find clown shoe cleats.

You do not want to guard me.
You do not want to guard me.

Who else should be added to the team?


Latest from our Creators