ByRyan Adam Fuzessery, writer at
I moved to LA to act, write and direct. Im a huge film aficionado and when i have time i share what interests me on here, enjoy.
Ryan Adam Fuzessery

Keanu Reeves coming off of a somewhat revamped career with the great recent hit and soon to be sequel of John Wick unfortunately falls back a step with a new low in shitty movies, another remake at that, thanks to the one and only Eli Roth.

This review will not be kind except for the 1 star i gave it and that was generous...

The summary of this regrettable movie is about Evan played by Reeves who stays at home for the weekend to catch up on some work while his wife and kids are away.

Two distraught women knock on his door late at night and ask to be pointed in the right direction of their friends house.

Realizing they are lost and not in the right neighborhood, Evan is nice enough to let them hang out and dry off and even call them an Uber again. They wait there with him but eventually start to talk sexual clearly making Evan uncomfortable as he distances himself from them several times.

They ignore the family mans comfort zone and continue to go deeper into sexual antics where they later entrap him in the bathroom where he eventually succumbs to a threesome after pleading with them to back off as he wants no part in their game.

Things from here only get worse for Evan as the two twisted women have far more intentions than just to sleep with him as he soon finds out the next morning.

The film was literally just that...a guy who is very reluctant winds up having sex with 2 girls and they then pretty much torture him. That is all that happens. Literally there are no developments or advancements to the story or any twists.

I think the last real movie i saw this bad was indeed Gigli but heres the had better writing!

Theres so many problems with this film i don't know where to begin, pick one of any of the hundreds of critics slamming it and you'll get the gist of where I'm coming from. The casting can be first though. Keanu deserves better, i don't know what drew him to this or if Eli begged him to be in it as he is the biggest star thats been in a Roth film to date. He tries to act his best to save it but the writing is so horrible he comes off just as bad and that made me sad.

The biggest casting issue with me was Eli's real life lovely girlfriend and actress Lorenza Izzo who clearly loves overacting. She was fine in The Green Inferno and even AfterShock and maybe Hemlock Groves (All Eli's work, see a pattern here?) but this one...i would of rather seen dare i say it...Kirsten Stewart. Yeah its that bad. Don't even get me started on the other newbie actress Ana de Armas...she takes the cake to where she makes Lindsay Lohan's acting look that of an Audrey Hepburn.

To be fair it all comes down to the writing itself and we can blame more than Eli for that...who else do you ask? Oh well you see, ever since Eli worked on Aftershock he became best friends with Chilean locals Guillermo Amoedo and Nicolas Lopez and he cant seem to stop writing with them! When do you start to listen to critics and fans bashing your work and take a step back and think "Oh it maybe the people I'm working with" ? Its obvious this hasn't sunk into his head yet which amazes me.

When you have two actresses who keep spewing the same repetitive cardboard laughably bad dialogue theres nothing for the audience to find rewarding or to invest in which is the main goal. One claims she's 15 at one point in the movie and my eyes almost rolled so far back into my head i thought i was having a seizure for a second it was so far fetched. The fact that their logic to being whores and sleeping with targeted men to prove a point is absurd and unforgiving. Everything was perfectly fine in Evans life until they stepped in so why would the audience side with them as victims in the end when it was they who literally created the situation for which they are claiming to be his fault? I only tolerated the entire viewing in hopes that they would die in the end, thats how much you will despise their poorly developed characters.

Back to acting classes you two!
Back to acting classes you two!

Just thinking about this movie irritates me and is producing a headache...i don't want to waste any more time on this one. You can choose to believe me or not, if you watch it though i pray you bootleg it and don't waste even a dollar on this and thats if you can sit the whole way through but don't say i didn't warn you because that was the sole purpose of this post and it sucks because i like Eli still for some odd reason, I've seen all of his movies and have talked to him, he's a very very very nice guy. I do think he has the potential to be a great director even if he goes away from horror but he needs to structure his work better and find writing partners that will help raise his talents, not lower them.

Another flick that gets the rare middle finger rating, an angry one at that:


What Is Your Favorite Eli Roth Movie To Date?


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