ByJay Vergara, writer at
Movies, games, and cosplay. Let's freak out together. Follow me on, Twitter @robot406
Jay Vergara

It's that time of year again when I see the cheap banners hung up for the seasonal costume shop squatting in a local strip mall until the rage for costumes is over. There will be sexy bumblebees, sexy nurses, and sexy bars of soap (probably) going to parties and little kids roaming the streets. Which is why I turn my lights off and shut the blinds to make it look like no one's home to save money on having to buy candy (yeah I'm that house). It wasn't always like this. In the olden days, Halloween costumes were a bit more jarring. They had that home made, "probably will commit a murder tonight" vibe. If any of these five costumes were roaming my street, I would definitely relish my decision to shut the world out. (Not that I don't already.)

5. Big Heads

Oh, look, some nightmare fuel. I think they were trying to look like their mom and dad? I don't know, man, just take all my candy and please spare my family.

4. Raggedy Anne

I don't know if they were actually going for "Raggedy Anne" but that's the closest guess I can make. I didn't want to look at the picture too long because I keep thinking they'll all start to point at me and sing a lullaby while someone comes up behind me.

3. Not So Little Debby

I don't know if it's the age of the photo, the death mask she has on, or the creepy dolls she's carrying but all in all put me down as disconcerted.

2. Court Jester

See that look in his eyes? That's the look of a boy who's about to drink the blood of his enemies. He's even carrying a head to showcase his victory over the king. Well, no, that's a mask but the realistic hair made me think it was a head for a split second.

1. The Faceless Family

The family that dresses up together stays together....forever. I added the dots for dramatic effect. I can't tell if they're supposed to be walking corpses or ghosts. Either way no thank you.

These five pictures make me think that maybe the new age of sexy everything might not be so bad. Imagine opening your door to one of these fine folks. Granted, it might just be the grainy, early 1900s look that's giving them nightmare vibes. Either way, I'm just glad we've come a long way costume wise.

Also, I looked up if there really is a "sexy bar of soap" costume. I came up empty but apparently "sexy loofah" is a thing. So there's that.

[ Source: ViralScape ]


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