When it was first announced that Universal was rebooting the Jurassic Park franchise with a big-budget blockbuster featuring current Hollywood darling Chris Pratt this was most people's reaction:
Regardless of what you though of the film it was indeed all kinds of successful, grossing over $524 million on opening weekend alone. So no-one was surprised when the studio announced the sequel, Jurassic World 2 (don't worry - that's just the working title).
Despite Jurassic World's popularity there was a few basic rules they forgot about when rebooting the series though, not least of all being this one:
Everyone loves Dr. Ian Malcolm
Jeff Goldblum's portrayal of chaos theoretician Dr. Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park was arguably the best thing about the film, even if only because he gave us the weirdest laugh (that was then remixed into this by someone doing God's work):
After being proven right in Jurassic Park that it's probably not a great idea to clone dinosaurs and pop them in a theme park Malcolm returned in the sequel, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, but hasn't appeared in any of the Jurassic movies since. We know he's doing alright though, cause he published a book called God Creates Dinosaurs based on a quote from the original film that you may remember:
Ian Malcolm: God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.
Ellie Sattler: Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.
In the viral marketing run up to the Jurassic World premiere Universal released an image of Malcolm's book, prompting much speculation that we'd see Goldblum making a cameo appearance in the film.
Sadly, we didn't. What we got instead was...
This Jurassic World Easter Egg
The marketing image of Malcolm's book (above) was the tip of a very small iceberg, as the book in question actually pops up twice in Jurassic World. Once in the hands of Zara (Katie McGrath), Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard)'s assistant who meets a brutal demise later in the movie.
Pre-terrible death Zara is reading God Creates Dinosaurs on the monorail, you can just see the cover peeking out from behind the kids. It's seen again on the desk of techie fanboy Lowery Cruthers (Jake Johnson) later in the movie when things really start going wrong.
So, there's that. No Goldblum though, very poor show.
So, Jurassic World 2?
There has of course been a ton of rumours about Jeff Goldblum, Sam Neill (Alan Grant) and Laura Dern (Ellie Sattler) appearing in the Jurassic World sequel, resurfacing speculations even as recently as last month that we'd see Ian Malcolm popping up soon.
Sadly, whilst his iconic words are going to be the giant shoulders upon which the narrative of Jurassic World 2 is laid, it's not looking likely that he's going to actually appear in the upcoming movie. Jurassic World director and writer of the sequel Colin Trevorrow said:
"[There never was plans to bring back any of the original trio]. I never saw a draft in which they were included, and I think I looked at every iteration at least once. That was because I think largely, and I’m sure the writers agree, but Steven had a mission to make something new, and he really wanted it to be a Jurassic Park for a new generation. So that was always the mission - however different all of those movies were."
It turns out that the only actor from the original Jurassic Park who is still kicking around is B.D. Wong as geneticist Dr. Henry Wu.
He only had a very small role in the original but he's much more prevalent in Jurassic World; he will also presumably set up the sequel as he helicoptered away into the sunset with a case full of dinosaur embryos and the results of his research when the dino-shit starting hitting the fan.
So, new generation, new direction, new cast. Makes sense. At least there's good news for Chris Pratt fans (and bad news for people who dislike it when good actors who are cast in uncharacteristic roles) he's returning for the sequel alongside Bryce Dallas Howard as generic fridgid-childless-boss-lady Claire Dearing.
Of course this doesn't mean the writers still can't bring back Goldblum or Neill and Dern further down the line, but for now at least it looks like life will have to find another way.
Bonus Video: Learn How To Pronounce Goldblum's Name