Hello, horror hounds. It is my sickening pleasure to be the Moviepilot horror fanatic in residence, here to offer you recommendations and daft jokes about everything horror; think of me like a slightly less good-looking version of the Crypt Keeper.
If you liked Saw... you'll like Cheap Thrills, 13 Sins, The Collector
Do you want to play a game? If you enjoyed the deliciously sadistic games played by Jigsaw, chances are you'll be hungry for more vicious thrills. Watching people pushed to the limit in situations that you would personally avoid above all costs is so relaxing, isn't it? The Collector - originally conceived as a kind of prequel to Saw - mimics Jigsaw's penchant for excruciating traps, whilst 13 Sins and Cheap Thrills adopt the more troublesome ethical questions posed by Saw: just how far would you be willing to go?
If you liked Hostel... you'll like Frontiers, High Tension, Eden Lake
You can't make a decent horror movie with buckets of blood alone... but it's certainly a good start. If spurting geysers of the red stuff get you on the edge of your seat then these movies spatter their share of gushing gore. High Tension in particular - a teeth-grindingly taut French horror ride released in the UK under the title Switchblade Romance - puts a circular saw to exactly the kind of skin-shredding, bone-splintering use you would hope for in a great goregasm.
If you liked The Human Centipede... you'll like Martyrs, A Serbian Film, Inside
Wow, you're one real sick puppy, you know that? If you like a horror movie to bend your brain and rearrange your mind to see just how much disturbing imagery you can handle, these movies will not steer you wrong. All three of these recommended movies are not for the faint of heart. I claim no responsibility for the kind of nightmares these will give you; the kind that have you calling your loved ones in the middle of the night to check that they're OK.
If you liked Friday the 13th… you’ll like Laid to Rest, Kristy, You're Next
There's no replacing a classic, but the Masked Maniac horror torch is still being carried proudly from one generation of filmmakers to the next. In recent years, the “unkillable” killer and the lurking predator have continued to stab, slash and hack their way through an endless stream of nubile young victims... and a new generation of Final Girls have been born to fight them.
If you liked Cabin in the Woods... you'll like The Last Horror Movie, The Hills Run Red, Behind the Mask: The Rise of Lesley Vernon
Do you like horror movies that wryly comment on the horror movie as a cultural phenomenon whilst also managing to be successful horror movies? If you even know what I'm blathering on about, then you probably enjoy the more Meta side of the dark side... Joss Whedon's genius horror homage/pastiche brought the meta-commentary to the masses, but there are some lesser-known gems that manage to effectively (and lovingly) critique this bloody, thrilling hobby of ours.
This article was originally posted in the Moviepilot Magazine – Fear Issue.