ByMona Torgersen, writer at
Staff Writer, lover of all things fantastical and supporter of House Martell. Follow me on twitter @monatorgersen
Mona Torgersen

As a huge fan of anything related to Halloween, I always wanted to work in a haunted house. Unfortunately, I never got the chance to do it, but thanks to Reddit I now know what it must be like. They created a thread where people who work in haunted houses can share their experiences with us mortals. Some of the stories are hilarious, while others are downright dangerous. Check them out below!

1. Copping a feel...of zombies?

"The zombie employees are always complaining about people touching them, sometimes in a sexual manner. This one guy in particular complained a lot about girls trying to grab his ass. What the hell is wrong with people?" PartyPorpoise

I fail to see what's so sexy about zombies, but hey, different strokes for different folks, right? That being said, one should always refrain from touching zombies without their consent!

2. Peeing contest

"Essentially, we were all a bunch of assholes, and we'd compete with each other to see how many people we could make pee their pants and/or throw up with fear. My record was three pukes and two pees in one night. I also had a guy twice my size throw a punch at me after throwing his girlfriend in front of me to shield himself. That was cute." Angela_Bee

Let's all form a prayer circle for those poor guys who have to clean up after these "accidents" occur.

3. Some people take it too seriously...

"This one woman tried to exorcise me." LadyMackers

Oh dear. Some people really need to tone down on the Jesus and realize it's all good fun. I wonder how she performed the exorcism. Did she happen to carry holy water with her?

4. If I was the husband I would be very, very scared

"A family of 3: husband, wife, and their maybe 8-year old daughter are leaving the haunted house. The door bursts open. Big bro turns on the chainsaw in one pull and revs it hard over his head. The dad grabs his daughter, throws her to the side causing her to trip over the mom, and then he sprints straight out the door, leaving his wife and child to fend for themselves. The wife just looks startled at first, then clarifies, then in a moment is completely despondent as the weight of the situation occurs to her. She hasn't taken a step yet. She makes eye-contact with big bro that explains her feelings about the matter quite clearly. Big bro wasn't prepared for this, turns off chainsaw, slinks back into the door way and closes the door. Wife and child walk out slowly and silently." Googunk

Well, that must have been awkward to witness. At least now she knows who she can depend on in a zombie apocalypse.

5. I hope you have health insurance

"Working the hayrides I can't tell you the number of ugg boots I took to the face." But1ar

As if UGG boots aren't ugly enough, now they're also a health hazard? Let's all make a collective effort to NOT injure haunted house employees this season. Which brings me to the next one...

6. He did what?

"I worked in a haunted cornfield and got tea-bagged while doing my best Grudge impression" scallopbaby

Those poor workers just can't catch a break. Was it on purpose or by accident? Was he wearing clothes? I have so many questions...

7. This makes me sick...

"One of the guys in charge would dress as Jason. Huge dude, really tall, and really into the character. He'd silently sneak up on people all the time and loom over them. Years ago, this one girl turned to look at him, and while all her friends ran screaming, she went white, paused a moment, and then puked. Stared for another second, and then went running. He's still proud of that one." pinkseaglass

It appears working in a haunted house is not all fun and games (apart from the peeing contest of course). I say we give a big thumbs up to everyone who has ever worked in a haunted house, they are risking a lot for our entertainment.

In the mood for a haunted house? Check out the terrifying bathroom scene from Amytiville Horror (2005).



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