Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield may no longer be swinging from cinematic webs as Spider-Man, but that hasn't stopped them from being immortalized for all eternity as spider men (See what I did there? YEAH, you did).
Two new species of spiders have been discovered in Iran by scientists Yuri M. Marusik and Alireza Zamani. The spiders - which look absolutely terrifying and are a one-way ticket on the hell no train to Nopesville for me - were named Filistata maguirei and Pritha garfieldi for Maguire and Garfield, respectively.
Here's the hellspawn known as Filistata maguirei:
And the nightmare fuel known as Pritha garfieldi:
See that? He's obviously screaming, in his tiny little spider voice, "WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?"
It's a cool honor to have a species named after oneself, but in this case, I think I'd settle for lighting myself on fire, instead.
If you're a glutton for punishment, you can read the scientific paper here. Or, you can lock yourself up in your bedroom, rocking back and forth and clutching a can of bug spray with your sweaty, twitching hands. As one does when faced with the inevitable end of the world.