Warning: This post contains mature themes including sexually suggestive images and explicit language.
Horror movies are the infernal breeding ground for all things sinister and insidiously sexual. Decade after decade we have witnessed horror's most vile villains chasing beautiful, nubile teens, slashing and gashing their voluptuous bodies. From the scantily clad camp counselors of the Friday the 13th franchise to the hedonically homosexual undertones of A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge, these frightening fiends have given audiences plenty of eye candy to devour. The question remains... which killer's knife is the biggest and the baddest?
5. Michael Myers
If you like your macabre monstrosities with indelible family values, then Michael Myers is the man for you. He is tall, dark, and handsome standing at 6'3" feet. He's packing a 17 inch butcher knife with a lust for deep penetration, so don't let his silence fool you. Michael is a beast!
4. Jason Voorhees
Although Jason Voorhees is grossly disproportionate, we recommend you not judge his appearance until you've taken a look at the whole package. This tenacious terror has the stamina of an entire football team and when he comes for you, he's going to keep on coming. Jason is packing a 26 inch machete and he's not afraid of double dipping!
Mr. Ghostface is creatively coy. He's got the most intimidating voice guaranteed to make you shiver in your panties. He is also sensitive and sensual when it comes to 21st century technology. No, we are not referring to online dating. He's got a knack for phone sex. Play nice and you'll survive, he just wants to see what your insides look like...
Jigsaw's got a freaky fetishes for games. Seriously! Pleasure and pain is his middle name. Just be careful because he may break your heart and bleed it out dry. He speaks in riddles, is bossy, and doesn't mind sharing. He may be a little dead but he's got a penchant for resurrection and necrophilia!
1. Freddy Krueger
1, 2 Freddy's coming for you. 3, 4 better lock your door. 5, 6 grab your crucifix. 7, 8 better stay up late. 9, 10 never sleep again... swoon! Freddy Krueger is the man of our dreams! He's funny, he's smart, he's so devilishly cool. He's as hot as the fire that burned him to death and he's a god with his hands. We wouldn't mind getting fingered by Freddy!