ByHAL Johnson, writer at

Have you ever watched a movie that tried its best to be interesting but fails so hard that you take out your phone to check for new messages, and by the time you look up again the entire second act happened and you don’t care because you didn’t miss anything anyway: Well that’s exactly what Maze Runner 2: The Scorch Trials is.

I have seen every single film in theaters out right now(mostly because I have no life), so when I went again this weekend I had to decide between to dreadful choices Hotel Transylvania 2 or Pan, I promptly walked out of the theater and made my way to TOM the local sketchy guy who always has pirated discs ready for purchase, I looked around his dirty knapsack when out of the corner of my eye I spot something interesting: Maze Runner 2, now I have seen the original but it was so bland I completely forgot about it until the moment, so when Tom wasn’t looking I promptly stole the disc from his bag and ran for my life. As I made my way home I released something, I can’t watch something that has been stolen, and has shitty quality, I drove around and found a theater playing the movie, and no I did not steal my ticket, if that’s what your thinking, no, no , but I did take a kid’s popcorn, I mean have you seen the prices for popcorn at the cinemas lately I mean it is incredibly expensive!

Anyway unto the actual movie, The Scorch Trails tries so hard to justify it’s existence, with it’s instance that the story isn’t over yet, when it so clearly is(you escaped the maze and the people who put you there all dead justice is served and all that Jazz this story really did not need to be dragged out like this), Thomas and the gang(of multicultural members) think they have escaped the evil clutches of WICKED, when surprise surprise they didn’t. So now they have to escape and reach a supposed safe haven in the mountains. To do so Thomas and the gang(notice how I keep calling them the gang; it’s not because it is easier to say then the whole groups’ name like fellowship from lord of the rings but because they are all so unmemorable, the only other name I remember is MEAN-HO and not because his character connects with me on a deep and personal level, but because I am so baffled that someone one would literally name their a child after an enraged prostitute)

So MEAN-HO(snickers) and the gang have to cross a dangerous deserted city while being chased by the walking dead, and along the way a few of your favorite “characters” might not make it, but who could they possibly be?

The whole thing is basically a road trip movie without any of the fun stops or different settings, it is just cross this dessert and get from point a to point b while constantly running from things trying to kill you every five seconds, now I am going to compare this with another little film called “Percy Jackson”- now Percy is not exactly a masterpiece and not necessarily a good movie but it is more watchable then this shit, because while they do the whole “road trip movie trope” it works more because the locations are interesting the audience is not just watching the characters wonder through the same type of location, and they do it with diverse group of characters personality wise, while their personalities might suck and be cliques they at least still have personalities: Percy is the Smart-ass with a heart of gold, Grover is the coward and comic relief, and Annabeth is the no nonsense chick who is a bit of a know it all. What can you say about Thomas and the gang(well there are ummm.. ummm…. you know what I am going to have to get back to you).

With bland characters and environments, queued with nonsensical action, Maze Runner 2 feels more like an obligation rather than a deserving sequel.

And the plot twists oh my God the plot twists you can see them all coming from a mile away!

But by far the worst thing this movie did was waste the talent that is GUS, remember him? The greatest tv villain of all time, he is wasted in this movie; he ends ups being Jorge whose character traits consists of being hispanic because there was no mexican in the group all ready.


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