Lying in bed. Next To him, among other things, an envelope filled with papers. The eggheads at the studio's HQ sent some notes about the new re-writes. Three weeks left of filming and now he has to deal with the ideas of infantile-like executives whose only interest is in profit. And of course they've nothing to worry about. A movie flops and it's all on the director, actors, or sometimes the script.
On the nightstand an ashtray filled with half-smoked joints, a mid-sized baggie with the finest cocaine his agent could find and a bottle of Whiskey not filled enough. Living with the pressures generations made with self-made critics. He peels out of bed grabbing the bottle and a joint from the ashtray and walks off to his desk. Crash landing onto his chair he fiddles with a lighter to begin the inebriation. It’s one of the best anti-depressants. After working hard on this film dealing with actors, budgets, crew members, studio executives, and vicious paparazzi attempting to steal set photos to ruin the fantasy that is the cinematic experience, and writers. As an artist I can sympathize with these kind of stresses. People who are artists are usually introverts. At times we can be described as children. People who cannot grow up so they create. That’s why many of us die from vices, we have so much time and freedom we easily suffer from real world pressures. Our source of income is brought on by how we feel. If I’m writing a romance I need to feel the pain of loss and the hopefulness of a child. If not my writing isn’t passionate or relatable which makes it a boring and tedious read.
When you add deadlines, budgets, pressure from fans, fear of critics or fear of defamation from those critics or the thought that you aren’t good enough because let’s face it all artist are self-loathing in some way, you get depression. The most dangerous non-physical affliction. You can smoke and drink and shoot up all day long, but the day you do it while you’re depressed your beautiful recreational activity has now become “medicine”. These later lead to self-medicating which can never be done safely. Now the director now has to deal with rejection from the studios execs who don’t like the re-writes and the writer who is tired of re-writing himself. So now there’s a halt on production but the release date is steadily approaching and on the popular websites all he can see is news and rumors about the production of his movie. Now curiosity has reared it’s slime-infested head promising beautiful things only leading to a comment section stacked with a plethora of spew written by the masses of mall trollops who march onto a cinema to criticize an emotional interpretation of an interpretation of an idea that eventually gets watered down by the goblins at the MPAA for attempting to show the slightest amount of cinematic creativity. Now finally the movie gets made it’s released to the public. All eyes are on phones and tablets looking for reviews and others looking to see how much the movie has grossed since its release date. Then to the comment sections to give their opinion about the movie thinking it might matter and with thought of their words reigning truer than all.
There’s nothing wrong about criticism as long as it’s constructive. Isn’t that just a load of shit? If you work hard on something creative no matter how long you worked at it or how many hears you have of experience, there’s nothing anyone can say to make a negative comment about something you created that you poured yourself into, that can even think to suppress the tiniest iota of pain you’ll feel. Of course this doesn’t mean your skin won’t thicken and eventually rejection becomes easier to deal with but then I refer to my original thesis Artists are adults who cannot grow up. What would Hemingway be like if he didn’t drink? Would his Legacy live on if he didn’t kill himself? What’s with all these great artists dying by their own hand? To answer these questions, one must be an artist themselves. A better name for artists is sensitive children. Our work is our life and no matter how unknown we are we love to share our work. Just don’t tell us it’s bad. Our emotions don’t work like regular people. We don’t just fell happy we feel happy plus. Actors can better reflect their feelings emotionally but Writers and Directors show it through stories and movement. In a way a writer’s life is his performance. Minds work in such a way that everything disgusts us in order but put everything according to our senses we can work. Why do you think film adaptations to books do worse the closer the original author is attached? Because what we visualize when we write cannot be seen by anyone but us. We can only hope those who can find their way to our work because they are who we speak to. Not those who pick up a copy of the New York Times to see who the best seller is? Those people just throw money at to have fun and enjoy life which isn’t bad just not the purpose for our words. When an artist dies his work becomes more valuable. Because it will never exist again. But Why? Who Cares? It’s hard to wrap your mind about that. Why not enjoy him while he’s alive.
Robin Williams. A man that needs no description. Had such a painful life. Without going into detail the man’s comedy came from a place of dark pain. If people could see into the mind of someone like Robin Williams or Hunter S. Thompson you would run until your legs broke. What you see as entertainment took someone a lifetime to get to. The pain artists deal with to get what in their minds out onto whatever medium they occupy professionally. Maybe when you go see the upcoming Star Wars movie don’t think about any other Star Wars movie. It’s not what you saw for the first time ’77, nor is it the Phantom Menace. It’s Star Wars VII. The same goes for music artists and youtubers these are creative people whose art is their life and therapy it’s what we have so let’s learn to understand these artists and preserve them and thank them for at least attempting to have us forget about our lives however mundane or exciting they may be we need these artists they set the future and create what we use to define ourselves.