ByKit Simpson Browne, writer at
Writer-at-large. Bad jokes aplenty. Can be gently prodded on Twitter at @kitsb1
Kit Simpson Browne

(Warning - depending on your feelings about Jar Jar Binks, the following article could be either hugely exciting, or massively depressing. Also, theoretical plot SPOILERS for Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens are to be found. As Taylor Swift at no point put it: "Don't say meeza didn't say meeza didn't warn youza...")

Now, when it comes to fan theories, there's arguably no more fertile ground than the Star Wars saga. From the occasionally glaring plot holes of the original trilogy, via the now defunct Expanded Universe and the (less defunct) prequels, all the way through to the soon-to-be-released Episode VII: The Force Awakens, Star Wars has always seemed specially designed to be speculated over and theorized about.

What's more, with millions of dedicated fans all over the world, there's no shortage of compelling fan theories making their way onto the Internet every single week. Which doesn't, of course, mean that every last one of them is going to be easy to handle. For instance:

The Latest Jar Jar Binks-Related Theory Might Actually Be Too Much for Our Brains to Handle

Intrepid Redditor Lumpawarroo recently set out to expose a huge secret lying just below the surface of the Star Wars prequels -- and if true, it's not so much going to blow all of our minds as cause an Alderaan-like explosion of prior understanding.

According to Lumpawarroo's theory:

Jar Jar Binks Was Secretly the Mastermind Behind the Whole Empire

In fact, so the theory goes, he was much, much more than that besides -- and could well turn up in Episode VII to prove it. As Lumpawarroo puts it:

"Jar Jar Binks, far from being simply the bumbling idiot he portrays himself as, is in fact a highly skilled force user in terms of martial ability and mind control.
Furthermore, I assert that he was not, as many people assume, just an unwitting political tool manipulated by Palpatine-- rather, he and Palpatine were likely in collaboration from the very beginning, and it's entirely possible that Palpatine was a subordinate underling to Binks throughout both trilogies.
And finally, given the above, I will conclude with an argument as to why I believe it is not only possible, but plausible that Jar Jar will make a profound impact on the upcoming movies, and what his role may be."

Yup, that's right:

Jar Jar Was Secretly a Force User All Along

According to Lumpawarroo's argument, Jar Jar's apparent clumsiness and uselessness were, in fact, simply a deep cover. He was, in actual fact, a talented fighter, who simply chose to appear deeply clumsy in combat in order to hide his talents from the world around him.

The reason? He was secretly a Force user -- turning his goofy 'luck' throughout the prequels into carefully planned prat-falling and (presumably) a succession of Jedi mind tricks.

Wait, did I say Jedi? Actually, as it turns out...

Jar Jar Was Actually the One Using Palpatine

Or, at least, that's the logic employed by Lumpawarroo, who speculates that Jar Jar's deception would only make sense were he in fact not a Jedi, but a Sith.

And, if so, his rise to galactic prominence alongside the eventual Emperor, Palpatine, would suddenly seem less a case of Jar Jar being used by the despot for personal gain, and more a carefully arranged plan by two Force users from the same planet. Indeed, if Jar Jar was indeed also a Sith, it would make sense for the pair to be working together, and even for them to be Master and Padawan.

Which one is which, though, isn't quite clear...

Why, though, was none of this addressed in the prequels? Well...

Jar Jar Was 'Replaced' by Count Dooku

Lumpawarroo argues that George Lucas originally intended for Jar Jar to function a little like a Dark Side version of Yoda, seeming to be a comic-relief character, before eventually turning out to be insanely powerful, quoting the director as saying:

"Yoda really comes from a tradition in mythological storytelling- fairy tales- of the hero finding a little creature on the side of the road that seems very insignificant and not very important, but who turns out to be the master wizard, or the master thing…"

When the fan backlash against Jar Jar hit, though, Lucas seemingly decided against having the widely-hated Jar Jar turn out to be the 'big bad,' and instead added the previously un-hinted at Count Dooku to the story to replace him.

Why does that matter, though? Well...

Jar Jar Could Return in The Force Awakens

As Lumpawarroo argues, the makers of The Force Awakens (and in particular the higher ups at Disney) are unlikely to want to jettison the entire mythos of the prequels -- thus losing a potential source of both creative inspiration and income.

Instead, then?

"It stands to reason that one of their primary goals will be to reinvigorate and ultimately try to redeem the prequels in the eyes of the fanbase. To elevate and improve them retroactively, as much as possible. So how do you do that?
Jar Jar Binks has undoubtedly become the face of everything that is “wrong” with the prequels- he was too silly, too unbelievable, seemingly pointless. If you are able to somehow change the nature of Jar Jar from embarrassing idiot to jaw-dropping villain, suddenly the entire prequel trilogy must be seen in a new light, because it becomes the setup for the most astounding reveal in film history:
Jar Jar Binks is Supreme Leader Snoke!"

a.k.a, the character Andy Serkis is set to play in The Force Awakens, via motion capture.

Which...all actually makes way more sense than I thought it would when I first read the words "Jar Jar Binks is in fact a highly skilled Force user." That's not to say it's likely to happen, but if it does, you can forget about Luke's parentage being the biggest shock moment in the franchise's history.

Nicely played, Lumpawarroo. Nicely played...

What do you reckon, though?

via Reddit


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