I think I'm right in saying that we all wish we could be that inconspicuous earwig on the floor that could spy on the daily happenings of Tom Cruise.
Until technology allows us to morph into spy critters, we have the revelations of Leah Remini, who was in the Church of Scientology for over three decades and spent a lot of time with Tom.
Some of what she has to say is shocking and upsetting. For example, the recent claim that during the Mission: Impossible star's wedding to Katie Holmes, their baby daughter Suri Cruise was crying in another room, lying on the floor with three adults just staring at her.
Things like this are rather unsettling, so it comes as some relief that the insanity of Tom Cruise can be more humorous at times.
The latest excerpts from Remini that have been published by Radar depict Cruise to be hilariously mental.
The Regina George of Scientology
First off, Cruise had allegedly told Look Who's Talking stars John Travolta and Kirstie Alley that they weren't allowed to sit with him in the Celebrity Center cafeteria. Apparently Cruise just doesn't like them.
Another extremely unsurprising detail comes in the form of Cruise's passion for coming up with "goofy ideas" and has often played hide-and-seek with Jada Pinkett-Smith. How I wish I could see this!
The cookie dough incident
When an assistant of lower ranking in the Scientology world did not prepare cookie dough for a group baking session to Cruise's liking, the Top Gun star went on a massive spiel at the assistant, allegedly screaming:
"Get in the fucking present time, is what you need to do!"
Remini shared how she felt during the incident:
“It was horrible to watch someone I admired come undone, and even worse to witness the fear in the assistant’s eyes."
Although accounts of these alleged events are quite funny on the surface, Remini seems to be speaking from a place of sadness and genuine worry for Cruise.
Tom Cruise and the chipped mug
Cruise was also served tea in a chipped mug which was an error that did not go unnoticed. Remini reports that Cruise ranted the following:
“You served me tea in a chipped mug? Do you know who gets served with a mug that’s chipped? Fucking DBs,”
'DB' stands for degraded beings which is considered a derogatory term in the Scientology community.
Salsa on demand
Remini and her husband Angelo Pagan were demanded to give Cruise salsa dance lessons which is also when Remini met Holmes (who was still a secret to everyone at this point). What really adds to the weirdness of this is that for the entire dance lesson, two 'Scientology handlers' were overseeing the whole affair.
Lord knows what else Remini will bring to light. I want to know everything.