Ever wondered what Fight Club would be like in the year 2015? Those guys were pretty serious about secrecy. Had Facebook or Twitter been around, would it have been achievable? All it would've taken is one rogue status and you'd have a couple thousand people click "Attending."
Perhaps we now have our answer in Rumblr, a brazen new app designed to link two budding fist fight enthusiasts for a consensual scrap. You can scroll through potential opponents, and, in what I suppose is the opposite of Tinder, swipe to fight the people who you find most punchable. What could possibly go wrong?
If you're more of an observer than an aggressive moron, you won't be left out, as fights are broadcast publicly so people can stand and watch. I suppose it beats watching re-runs of Friends on Netflix.
Let's get ready to rumble
And, if you're wondering what the date is... No, it's not April 1st. Talking to Daily News, the developers said:
"We have raised relatively substantial funding from private American investors and the app is fully developed"
Despite raising funding, the app won't go live until legal issues are resolved. I'm going to go out on a limb and say lawyers aren't ecstatic at the thought of people kicking the sh*t out of each other for fun. It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
If you have any remnant of faith in humanity, you'll be disappointed to hear a web-based beta version has attracted 78,000 signups. That's 78,000 people who could probably do with some anger management counseling.
If Twitter is anything to go by, people are already excited about the possibility of being smacked in the face...
Anyway, I've trawled through the new members and uncovered something quite interesting. Do all these guys know each other?
Possibly one of the most iconic characters of his generation, Brad Pitt plays the narrator's alter ego Tyler Durden, a kind of savage Übermensch who has unconventional ways of teaching life lessons.
You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
Meatloaf goes from ballad to brawler as Robert Paulsen, a former bodybuilder with "bitch tits" who offers valuable support to our narrator. Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow...
The Narrator/Tyler Durden
The narrator, the insomniac, the split personality... Edward Norton is sublime as our alter ego's alter ego.