ByWalter Ng, writer at
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Walter Ng

Suicide is a topic that is taboo. And that nobody really wants to touch with a ten-foot pole because it's uncomfortable.

Most people say that a person who commits suicide is stupid or was not thinking of their loved ones and was not considering all the other consequences that others would experience because of one person committing suicide.
I'm here to tell you it's none of those. And while this is a very dark subject it is my duty to tell you it's still your choice to read this and hold an opinion all of your own, but as a person who's seen people who dealt with this pain and I, myself included have felt it, this is strictly based on an opinion of the only few factors that would cause a person's suicide regardless of the fact they did take into account the consequences, all of which I will expand further in this article.

The common assumption with suicide is depression, and while that is true most of the times there are a few other factors that factor into depression as well but push further into them wanting to commit the act. In which the factors are very simplistic but deadly.
But first I must say that people who think people who commit suicide are stupid and not thinking of their loved ones are wrong, in two ways. The first way is this, people who commit suicide don't just pick a day and say they want to do it, it takes a lot of processing the thought when it was first conceived and it lingers if the person doesn't really deal with the feelings. And in the second is that they do factor in their loved ones and even though it makes it harder for them to act on the idea and execute the decision, once they've finalized their decision it is final, and nothing others say can change their mind.
But now for the factors, now again this is strictly based on accounts and experience I've had and I've delved into a little research which is to say the operating word being little because, there is much we still don't really know.

So first of all I will equate this to the main problem which is applicable to a lot out there as well but I feel more directed towards one group of people, which I generalize as the Asian mentality. Now the Asian mentality can be summarized in these few words, which are, academic pressure. Most times, stereotypes and generalizations come from a place where people only can tell some traits and attribute it to them, and only in some instances is it true. Now this is one of those times, while true that not all have this problem, it's safe to say most have it. Asians have the pre-conception that studies and the academics are the only one true band that could get you a high paying job and a long term employment, which is simply not 100% true anymore, in our society today. With the world changing and our generation becoming more technological, they can do whatever they enjoy, whether it be gaming, blogging, and etc. Now, in some instances this applies to those abroad as well, I mean, definitely other kids feel that parents pressure them to be so involved in their academics, that they fail to see there are other areas in the world that they can go into that don't necessarily only need book smarts. Obviously, we need a core and that's a given but with the pressure of scoring good grades however, that becomes a problem, because suddenly, a mediocre student is student simply because he/she scores B's or C's or D's. Narrowly touching the place in which is the failure area. This has been in tuned in us for so long that we don't know anything other to do unless exposed to other stuff, and with the Internet, I think the generation today will be more inspired by what they see because the Internet is slowly becoming the new television.

Secondly, it also comes down to family problems, and while this ties in to the Asian mentality; or rather academic pressure, it can be a separate topic on it's own because, people who come from broken homes have issues, and if not dealt with right can lead to devastating circumstances. For instance the best example I can think of at the top of my head right now are artists, artists have something to express ,something to tell, a story of sorts and the roots hold deep into their own psyche, just like what I wrote on Amy, I'll write it here, parents hold a responsibility to take note of how their children are acting and if it's a broken one, then, the parent needs to pay more attention, and ask the children questions, ensuring that they are comfortable expressing how they feel, without feeling to pressured in telling you their problems, finding the delicate balance between your own insecurities and theirs. Or in short, just be comfortable around them and always tell them that they have a safe place to confide in you;the parent. Now this only deals with single parents/divorcees, what about highly abusive parents? Now that's a tricky subject because, one, the child can't do much unless, he/she calls child services, or their friend takes notice and tells somebody else about it maybe a responsible adult. And the first thing to do of course is to check it out, but always ensure that there is constant checking, because people, are very good at camouflaging themselves, they can seem like the nicest neighbors but when it comes down to it it's better to be safe then sorry.

And then of course,there are external factors, which I will only categorize to third party involvement, usually bullies or just a bitter experience. Both have a common ground in that both involve pain somehow. And it's important to note, that in this new generation bullying is now more than just two faces and it's very hard to see the line in going to far. In Whiplash, I note that even though the teacher is motivating the student, the methods seemed a little too extreme a little too far, a little too much damage on the psyche, but then, there's also a thing called being to soft, but I digress. The problem is that the tightrope is a dangerous place, and the lines are often blurred in most cases. And people who say that you just need to put a positive spin on things don't really understand the meaning of a constant bang on the head. You can only put a positive spin on so many things and because we are humans, we have our limits too, and if you have a consistent basis of a bully just saying that your not worth the life your given or if the bully physically picks on you every day you feel isolated like no one understands what your going through or rather you'll feel like you're the only one going through it because it sure seems like it. And it just becomes a routine that you submit yourself into it and it sure will cause you to be addicted to a certain kind of pain which leads to self infliction. And what about the bitter experiences then? Well bitter experiences are allotted to a lot of things, losing someone close to you, getting hurt in some way(emotionally or physically, or just the consistency of bad days.

Now here, it mostly does come down to how you deal with these things, but most of the time, if we don't know how to get around it, we'll always be stuck in a certain way, like losing somebody, will always have it's impact because as people we are a very emotional species and we always tend to be sentimental and nostalgic. Then there's getting hurt, now this can come down to a simple heart break or third party abuse; such as domestic abuse, both of these, have a pain value that measure up in both physical and mental pain. Now, a heart break is more emotional but does have it's physical pain attributes, and if you're really hurt about it then, it's worsened, and even though domestic abuses are a string of physical abuse, most often then not, especially these days, verbal abuse seems the way to go, and in that, it becomes more emotionally violent. And the consistency of bad days, is nothing going right for you every single day, and no matter how hard you try the result still stays the same. Now this begs the question do you still try and use different methods, but nevertheless still in that void and things keep happening to create the same result anyways, or give up and try something else. Now most would think it's clear cut depending on your preconceptions and assumptions, but there's actually a fine line between the two, never touching and never meeting though and yet pretty similar. While it's true our instincts, would tell us to keep on going in the brightest hopes something would change but if things constantly go wrong, there's a sudden change, and suddenly fear is involved and everything changes.

The act of suicide is not one that can be dealt quickly I'm afraid but if not pinpointed at the right point of time can spell out a travesty, that adds another number in the ever-growing statistic that continues on even today, when so many are trying to prevent yet not able to get rid of these situations, and I think it's still because, people have a nonchalant attitude towards this because of their presets, and this, we can only hope we can try to change but for now, hopefully you'll get a clearer picture, and at least try, to help in the cause against more people committing suicide.

*This article is dedicated to a fellow student who recently committed suicide. May she Rest In Peace, and God bless her soul.


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