ByJack Carr, writer at
You are the Princess Shireen of the House Baratheon, and you are my daughter.
Jack Carr

Eminem's been around a while. His seven studio albums since 1999 have been certified 35x platinum in total in the US alone, but survival in 2015 means expanding your brand beyond music - which is probably why some smart cookie in Camp Shady decided that it would be a good idea for Marshall Mathers to put his name to an app. That app is now here, downloadable for iOS and Android, and it's called Shady Wars.

You might question whether or not going down the Kardashian route of attaching your image to a game makes Eminem a huge commercial sell-out, but probably best not to go there. Instead, let's find out whether Shady Wars is the game you never knew you needed, or just the game you never needed.


As you can see, the rules of the game are simple and gameplay itself is oddly hypnotic: you simply use the Shady icon (complete with mask and chainsaw) to catch the falling lyrics, or the emojis that represent them.

The songs start out simple (Rihanna collab The Monster) and become gradually more difficult as you progress up through to higher levels. You can shoot drones. You can collect victory coins. You can use said coins to purchase new weapons. It's pretty good fun, even if it's also dumb.

But how does Shady Wars compare with other mobile gaming apps from business-savvy celebs? Let's start with a comparison that Slim himself would no doubt scoff at...

Kim K & Snoopify

Love or hate Kim K and her klan/army of sisters, Kim Kardashian: Hollywood might be the game responsible for the current craze of celeb mobile apps.

In Kim K Hollywood (iOS and Android), the aim of the game is to promote your avatar's reputation and eventually become a certified A-lister. It's vacuous, obviously, although if you were inclined to give Kim more credit than most you might say the game is a very, very subtle satire of the pursuit of fame.

Anyway, 23 million players three months after hitting the Apple Store and a 4.3/5 score on Google Play suggests the game's target audience love it. Which poses the question: who exactly is the target audience for Shady Wars? It doesn't exactly seem like the kind of thing which will have his male fanbase glued to their phones, and the scope of the game is a lot more limited than Kim's.

Maybe a more relevant comparison is with Snoop Lion's Snoopify (in case you forgot, Snoop Lion is how Snoop Dogg reinvented himself after going to Jamaica, getting beautifully high and converting to Rastafarianism, as one does.

Snoopify is exactly what it sounds like: after uploading a selfie, you can add a bunch of stickers - cash, bling, and of course the obligatory spliff - and effectively make yourself into a less authentic Snoop. "A lot of people want to become a part of my world, so what better than to give them the opportunity to use my application?", Snoop explains to Conan in the above video, apparently unaware that we just call them apps. You might say that this is not so much a game as a way of life, to which I would say: Fo shizzle!

Look, I don't know if Shady Wars is really a good game in the accurate sense of the word "good", but you can kill half an hour here and there playing it, and if you become really addicted you might even splurge a dollar on 100 coins and help pay off Slim Shady's mortgage. Now what could be more fun than that?


Which game looks like the most fun?


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