ByJames Wood, writer at
Unabashed Transformers fan. Man crush on Tom Hardy. Avid fan of Tommy Wiseau's cult disasterpiece The Room.
James Wood

Absolutely Anything is like a car crash on the side of a motorway, it's terrible to look at but you can't help but watch. This is an embarrassingly bad film and painful to sit through, and for its likeable stars it’s a real low point and a crying shame that this stands as Robin Williams’ final film. How did I sit through this film? This monstrosity follows Neil Clarke, a teacher who is granted the power to do anything by an intergalactic council of aliens. In all honesty this could’ve been a very entertaining little comedy but instead Absolutely Anything is just poorly made trash.

Terry Jones' direction is hopeless, I never found the Monty Python films funny but this 2015 feature is bottom of the barrel, cheap and cheerless trash. He fails at injecting any sort of comedy, all scenes look like a really lousy TV show on a kids channel and the lack of style or any kind of redeeming creative quality leaves the whole affair feeling undercooked and stale. Worst of all, the animated aliens and their integration amongst the Earth based scenes are laughably bad and poorly timed. I genuinely thought I had put the wrong film on and landed on the CBBC channel, the Monty Python crew do the voices for these aliens and it feels rushed, like they did the work in an afternoon without any thought or care. Who wrote this? The script is abysmal especially for these otherworldly creatures.

Simon Pegg is decent but this is a bland role for an actor capable of so much more. Kate Beckinsale, another talented and very sexy movie star seen in Underworld and Nothing But The Truth is given a thankless role but she makes the best of the situation, she's earnest and very likeable. Rob Riggle is annoying, over doing it whenever he appears onscreen as a jealous and obsessed ex-boyfriend. Robin Williams over eggs it voicing Dennis the Dog, he lets his excitement and energy rule therefore the matching of the dog's mouth movement fails to fit.

Sometimes I wonder how amazing it would be to have powers that could grant me the ability to do whatever I wanted. Chronicle, the found footage thriller, took this theme and turned it into a dark and exciting twist on the superhero genre. Absolutely Anything fails once again at having fun or doing something interesting with this power. Watching Simon Pegg change his body should be funny but it's far from that, for the entirety of this so called comedy I didn't laugh once, though I let out a slight chuckle when Eddie Izzard changed from a mean headteacher to a caring headteacher, thanks to Neil's power.

The poor reviews speak the truth, this film sucks. If this was written as a TV series spanning a few episodes and was aimed at a younger audience it may have worked but making it a 15 and not capitalising on that rating is Terry Jones' failure. Ranking alongside Taken 3, Jupiter Ascending, Seventh Son and Mortdecai as one of the worst films of 2015, Absolutely Anything should be avoided like the plague, a total waste of time and beyond me how anyone in their right mind would enjoy this.


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