If you have any sort of imagination, you can think of all sorts of places a couple (or one...or three...you get it) of people could have sex. On the bar, in the car, just be sure you don't go too far! You can also rattle off quite a few strange places to die. Want to have a really good time? Let's combine the two! There's really no better way to go, unless of course, you're like a few of the folks I tell you about below. To get you started out, let's go back to one of them most famous celebrity sex deaths of all time.
10. David Carradine
On June 3, 2009, at the ripe old age of 72, it appeared that the Kung Fu master died by suicide. Upon further investigation, however, it turned out he was just a bit too kinky. The fact that he was naked when he died helped that case, along with an ex or two coming out and verifying his love of all thinks kinky and self-harming when he was in the sack. But tying the rope to his man parts too? Good way to start off a top 10 list! This seems to be a recurring theme with stars.
INXS frontman Michael Hutchence? Death by autoerotic asphyxiation.
Same with BBC host Kristian Digby, except he used a plastic bag and belt, instead of a cord or rope. Resourceful! Walmart would be proud of his recycling.
9. Woohoo through the window in Wuhan
A Chinese couple got a surprising...surprise during their special time, when the glass window they were apparently leaning against while having sex shattered, and they plummeted however many stories to their deaths. What a buzzkill!
8. Safe sex isn't always safe... I'm not lion
In 2013, a couple engaging in sex in Africa, in a bushy (Really? Sometimes they just make the jokes too easy.) area in Zimbabwe. He was wearing a condom at least, and that's all he was wearing after he escaped the lion attack. His lady friend wasn't so lucky, though. The same thing allegedly happened in Tanzania in 2002, where the man escaped by the woman didn't. Either these African fellas need to step up for their women, or they need to start having sex in the house. If they need to have wild animals present, I suggest a zoo, maybe?
7. Tickling each other on the ivories
After closing time one night in 1983 at the Condor Club in San Fran, a bouncer and his lady friend decided to get it on on top of a piano. But hold up...this piano was special...hydraulics raised and lowered the piano during the night. You guessed it. While they were bumping uglies, they bumped the button that raised the piano. Maybe having too good of a time to notice, or just too scared to jump, the bouncer was killed when the piano got to the ceiling, and his poor girlfriend was stuck under him until the next morning. She lived, but to this day, probably shivers every time she sees a piano.
6. Just plain overdoing it
One thing you run across when you Google something like this, is a LOT of heart attacks happen during sex. Enough to make me uncomfortable, and I'm only 36. So why not talk about yet another famous fella who died in the heat of the moment. Only it was with his assistant, who, being 45 years younger than him, apparently did him in. Nelson Rockefeller, who would be one of our nation's VP's, took on more than he could handle, and his ticker exploded, probably right around the same time something else did. Woo doggy.
John Garfield (The Postman Always Rings Twice) had the same luck, apparently. A massive heart attack at 39, in his lady friend's apartment? Hmm..
And Errol Flynn LOVED to make the love. So much, that he also died while getting it on.
5. Hogan's Heroes? Not so much.
Bob Crane, star of the above mentioned show, pretty much became the poster child for sex addiction. Beneath the exterior that everyone else saw, he loved his sex. Seducing women, filming, taking pictures, all that stuff got him going. Unfortunately, in 1978, it got the better of him. Sex didn't directly kill Bob, but his love of it played a hand in it. Or shall I say, played a tripod in it. Yes, I know, yet another extremely easy dirty joke. He was found murdered in his Arizona apartment that year. The weapon? His own freaking tripod. Looks like he brought the wrong woman home.
4. What's French for OUCH
In 1899, French Prez Felix Faure was doing his thing with a french lady of the night, when something went terribly wrong. First, with her. Then, with him. Then, with Felix, Jr. This hurts just to write down. During oral sex, something happened to cause her to go into shock, which made her clamp down on his poor man bits. Apparently, that's painful enough to do things to a guy. Tat the time, the official story is he had a cerebral hemorrhage. Call it what you want, but holy crap. Time to move on.
3. Let's talk about Popes, baby
Let's not talk about you and me. Two Popes came up (last one, I promise!) on my search. Pope John XII and Pope Paul II. John was a classic case of got caught got died. When you think of death by sex, you probably don't immediately think of the husband/wife walking in, catching them, and beating someone to death. But John learned the hard way that you just have to be careful when you're a wold famous dude banging another guy's wife! The guy put an end to this Pope's pontification copulation. Pope Paul, however, just added fuel to that “priests and their love of little boys” stereotype. But it's a bit turned around, I suppose. The word on the street was that he died while being sodomized BY another fella, a pageboy. Whatever that is. Commence the Pope jokes!
2. Quit horsin' around
How could you go through an entire top 10 death-by-sex list without involving animals? Bear with me. Let's just pick one out of a hat, because man, are there a LOT of these stories. Some weirdo actually made a movie based on this story, called Zoo. Go figure, with the title. A Boeing engineer named Kenneth Pinyan, in 2005, loved horses...way too much. He filmed himself, too. But, not completely surprisingly, Ken found a horse that was hung way too much like a horse, and ended up going to the ER with a holey colon, and died. This convinced the Washington state senate to criminalize Bestiality. Just another one of them things that makes you scratch your head, like the words “warning: HOT!” on a coffee cup with hot coffee in it.
1. Electric nipples
No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't find a story that topped this one. And boy oh boy, is this story all over the interwebs. Kirsten Taylor and her husband Toby, loved having a little spice in the bedroom. And by spice, I mean electricity. And by that, I don't mean figuratively. Literally, they shocked the crap out of each other. And shockingly, something went wrong! Toby tried to cover it up by saying she electrocuted herself with her hair dryer, but it later came out that he liked hooking up her nipples to clips that were plugged into a electric strip. She would do it to herself sometimes too, apparently, but things got a little too juicy one night, and lights out!