ByJannis Hermanns, writer at
Fuck ponies! I want a dragon!!!
Jannis Hermanns


Fat Fucking Lenny is one of the original Delray Misfits. He might be the only person who is actually more insane and delusional than Jason. He has bizarre facial twitches, sudden and extreme changes in facial expression and frequently challenges anyone to fight him in the parking lot in return for $1,000. Once called out the Hells Angels on camera, calling them the "Queers Angels." A fellow /bodybuilder powerlifter like Jason, he is about 6' 4" and weigh 370 pounds, yet still competes in bodybuilding shows hoping to win the Ninja Turtle category. In all seriousness and without exaggeration, he has the worst case of roid gut/Palumboism in the entire known world, according to Lui Marco, an expert on the subject. Lenny does not see it that way, and instead thinks that he has the biggest, most muscular ab muscles of all time. He lifted up his shirt and declared "What Tom Platz was to legs ... I AM TO ABS!!"

One day, someone brought a taser to World Gym, and Lenny asked to be shot with it in the parking lot. When he was hit, he staggered backwards a bit and then ripped out the wires without even falling down.

Despite all of his bizarre attributes, Lenny is quite protective of Jason, and is sometimes the only one in the gym trying to keep his spirits up when he's being bullied by other members of the gym. Lenny is the only one who will actually indulge Jason by calling him by his preferred nickname, Lord Vader, instead of Monkey Prick. As one fan put it: "Perhaps Lenny's biggest organ isn't his gut, but his heart.
He has some weird hangup about pornography, as he often rants against "PORNO ADDICTS!!" and says that he does not own a computer because he doesn't want to deal with "temptations." After his 2014 bodybuilding show which Andrew filmed, he hit on a black bodybuilder chick in the lobby and talked about how his injectable tan had the side effect of increased erectile function while grinning and staring at her with rapey eyes. He asked if she wanted go out to the parking lot and jump up and down on him with her heels. Lenny was dead serious but she declined. Oddly, when Andrew asked if it would be okay if a guy did that instead, Lenny seemed open to the idea. This was the first hint we had that Lenny has straight up had sex with black trannies. He also revealed that he enjoys eating pre-chewed food because it saves him a lot of effort. To demonstrate that he was not just joking, he asked the front desk lady at World Gym to chew up some food and spit it out, and he ate it on camera. While he was at it, he requested that she piss in a cup so that he could buy it off her for $20; he wanted to drink it because he believes that the piss of a pregnant woman has anabolic properties. Lenny once gave Andrew and Jason directions to a mysterious place where he sometimes goes to "relieve some tension" at 3:00 AM. They have yet to check the place out, but it's probably a dirty bathroom in the woods with a glory hole.

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