ByJonathan Bird, writer at
Jonathan Bird

To make sure your Christmas is filled with happiness and joy, avoiding this list of 8 seasonal flops will be a wise idea...


- Make yourself knowledgeable on not what to watch over the festivities.

- Enjoy ripping the piss out of this bag of wrong 'uns.

Christmas should be a time filled with joy, fun and indulgence. When you settle down with your families, friends and loved ones and snuggle up on the sofa after your Xmas feast, the last thing you need is to be subjected to anything from this list which will take the bang out of your cracker and leave a funny taste in your mouth! This is more of an education and learning experience in preparation for the perfect celebration...

Christmas Caper, 2007

This so called family film staring Shannen Doherty, best known for her Charmed days which is where she should of stayed, will bore you stiffer than an icicle. This ABC monstrosity was part of their "25 Days of Christmas" in 2007 extravaganza. It's a bit like all the other Christmas thief film's just not as well executed. Also staring Ty Olsson, Conrad Coates, Stefanie von Pfetten, Sonya Salomaa and many others. Written by April Blair and Directed by David Winkler this is possibly the most hated Christmas film by members of SingleThisHoliday.

Santa's Slay, 2005

Giving a WWE star the leading role of a film is not a great idea as this example shows and turning Santa into psychopath who goes on a massacre over this joyous season will leave you thinking WTF! But if you like watching paint dry then this might be right up your ally. Directed by David Steiman and staring Bill Goldberg, Douglas Smith, Emilie de Ravin with many others, this movie really takes the fruit out of the pudding.

Jack Frost,1998


This Box Office failure is tackier than a Pound Land Christmas tree. Everything you ever wished for in a bad movie Jack Frost doesn't just give it to you, it will ram it down your throat. The Director Troy Miler did get one thing right as the bathroom scene is something I've never quite seen before and is disturbingly the highlight of the whole movie. Staring Michael Keaton, Kelly Preston, Dweezil Zappa, Ahmet Zappa, Moon Unit Zappa. If you haven't seen this then you are not missing out on anything!

Black Christmas, 2006

Don't be fooled by the HOT line up of Michelle Trachtenberg, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Lacy Chabert, Katie Cassidy in anyway as this sorority house horror (yes another one) is the worst remake of anything I have seen before. The only way you will enjoy this film is if you send a copy to an enemy as a Christmas gift. This slasher film written and directed by Glen Morgan, who should feel ashamed, is more like a tree with no lights.

The Nut Cracker 3D, 2009

This film will rob the egg out of your nog and the only thing great about this is that it's in 3D. This Christmas fantasy film adaption of the ballet The Nutcracker is directed by Andrei Konchalovsky. It does have a fantastic line up of well know stars including Elle Fanning, Nathan Lane, John Turturro, Charlie Rowe, Frances de la Tour, Aaron Michael Drozin and others, but the negative reviews from the critics, hit this film harder than Santa with mince pies on Christmas eve.

Elves, 1989

If you would like this mask you can find it at you local dress up shop at Halloween! Never before has a film made me laugh so much with its lack of taste and shoddy special effects. It is like eating sprouts with no gravy and should be made illegal. This thing, directed by Jeffrey Mandel and staring Dan Haggerty, Julie Austin, Deanna Lund, is a weird combination of Pagan, Christianity, Dictatorship and Christmas...what a mess.

Santa Claus and The Martians, 1964

How could I leave this reindeer's ear out of the list. This film is in every "worst of Christmas" list going and it's how I imagine feeling if I woke up on Christmas day and my stocking was empty. A Sci-Fi come festive flick should stay where it belongs in the 1960's and is Directed by Nicholas Webster with a cast including John Call, Leonard Hicks, Vincent Beck, Bill McCutcheon.

Santa with Muscles 1996

And yes, it's another film with the leading role being played by a wrestler and if that wasn't bad enough have a look at the tan. He looks like Rudolf had a accident whilst delivering presents on Christmas Eve! Staring Hulk Hogan, Don Stark, Garrett Morris, Mila Kunis and directed by John Murlowski.


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