There are very few moments in life when I look at the careers of Hollywood's most famous and don't think, I wish I was in your shoes. One example would be constantly running away from the flashing paparazzi flashlights, another is the experiences described in the list below.
You watch actors getting jiggy on set and, if they're doing their job right, you're primary reaction is simply, PHWOAR. However, the reality is far, far, farrrr less glamorous. From sweaty nude patches sliding off your privates (no thanks, Lena Dunham) to getting up close and personal with a childhood friend, these 10 celebrity on-screen sexual experiences are enough to put you off your breakfast.
1. Jennifer Lawrence
Jennifer Lawrence felt such awkward guilt when filming her sex scene with married Chris Pratt in upcoming movie, Passengers, she opted for the traditional liberating method.
"I got really, really drunk. But then that led to more anxiety when I got home because I was like, 'What have I done? I don’t know.'"
2. Henry Cavill
Henry Cavill is the Man of Steel in more ways than one, apparently...
"It's only happened to me once, and it was very embarrassing. A girl had to be on top of me, she had spectacular breasts, and I hadn't rearranged my—stuff into a harmless position. She's basically rubbing herself all over me and, um, it got a bit hard. I had to apologize profusely afterward. It’s not great when you're in a professional acting environment and somebody gets a boner, is it? No, not acceptable."
3. Amy Schumer
Sex scenes are a bit of a Trainwreck, if you ask Amy Schumer.
"[The scenes] totally serve the story; they belong there. As to whether I would rather just be sitting in a dialogue with someone in a diner versus having them thrusting in my thigh — yeah, I’ll take the diner and get a piece of coconut cream pie. [But] I’m glad we did it."
4. Jon Hamm
"It's like running in the rain. There's a certain point where you go, "Fuck it, I'm already wet. I'm not going to get any less wet so I might as well enjoy how this feels." I mean, sure, there's an awkwardness about being in a weird flesh-colored thong, bouncing on top of an actress. And I am not a small human being. I weigh at least 200 pounds and I'm six-foot-two. And Wiig is a twig; she's a skinny little thing. I told her, "Just punch me in the side if I'm hurting you." It's weird and uncomfortable at first but then all the awkwardness melts away and you think, "All right, we're doing this, so let's have fun with it."
Does that description remind you of anything?
5. Kate Winslet
Kate Winslet said 'nut sack'. Lol.
"Its a profoundly bizarre thing to do. As actors you talk about it all the time. You can literally be tangled in sheets, and you turn to the other actor and say 'What the f*ck are we doing?' Dear Mum, at work today I had so-and-so's left nut sack pressed against my cheek. It's sort of unethical if you think about it in those terms."
6. Mila Kunis
The whole Friends With Benefits thing is a bit of a downer when you've got a crowd peeking at your privates, even if you are getting jiggy with JT.
"[We] got to have very uncomfortable scenes for two weeks. I mean, regardless there's like 150 crew men watching and you see each other's bits and pieces. The whole thing is just wrong."
7. Rupert Grint
Ew, Ron. When you put it like that...
"It seemed like the most unnatural thing to do, to kiss this person I'd known since she was nine. It took a while to get into it and put our friendship aside."
8. Lena Dunham
Sweaty nude patch? NOPE.
"I stopped wearing the nude patch after the first season of Girls. There's not one guy who works on that show who hasn't seen the inside of my vagina. You glue it over your vagina. It gets sweaty and always falls off. My male co-stars, at the end of the day, don't care."
9. Olivia Wilde
Hairy belly to the face doesn't do it for Olivia Wilde, apparently.
"There is always a particularly large and hairy man holding a boom wearing a crop top. I don't know if they're like, "Ooh, sex scene, where's my crop top because I need to hover above Olivia, make sure my hairy belly is somewhere in the vicinity of her face." People imagine it's this really glamorous and sexy thing, but I always laugh because in reality there are 50 people in the room. You are stopping and starting. There is someone yelling, like, "Can you move your hand, can you just put your shoulder down, OK, good, more, more..."
10. Jamie Dornan
"Your dignity is intact as much as it's all tucked away in a little flesh-coloured bag... As a guy you put all your essentials in a little bag and you tie it up like a little bag of grapes and it's tucked away."