Being a celeb isn't as easy as you might think. Sure, you get free clothes, crazy salaries and potentially limitless access to whatever substances float your boat, but you also have to look your best - all the time. Which is why celebrities will try any and every diet under the sun in order to stay slim, get buff or retain that healthy glow most of us crave.
You probably already know about the most popular diets - green veggies only, or no carbs - but you might not have heard of these five seriously extreme celeb eating plans...
1. The veggie-free veggie diet (Michael Jackson)
Because no celebs being weird article is complete without the King of Weird, let's start with Michael Jackson, whose former personal chef Mani Niall (owner of the Sweet Bar Bakery in Oakland) dished on the Bad singer's eating habits recently.
I got to know him before Thriller was released ... He was the type of person who could just go, go, go for hours without eating, and then be famished ... He liked pizza, but he didn't like pasta.
Niall claims that Jackson was "a vegetarian who didn't like vegetables". So what does the man who eats neither meat nor veggies actually eat?
Mexican food like spicy smoked red chile enchiladas were a staple ... and grilled tofu shish kebabs with couscous and Moroccan sauce.
Each year, Sweet Bar Bakery celebrates MJ's birthday with a special menu including cookies made with pecans and maple syrup, and pizza with shiitake mushrooms and Japanese eggplant. I'm not sure that sounds particularly healthy, but it does sound pretty damn tasty.
2. The Hercules Diet (The Rock)
The Rock didn't just wake up like this. It takes some serious work to get and maintain the body of a God. In preparation for last year's Hercules, his diet consisted of an incredible 5,165 calories daily - that's seven meals or, to break it down, a fry-up breakfast, a steak lunch and a huge pasta dinner, supplemented by frequent carbtastic snacks. And if your immediate response to that is "sounds like heaven!", well, you're absolutely right... but don't try this one at home, because the prospects of waking up one day with the physique of The Rock are minimal at best.
3. The fresh air diet (Madonna)
Prepare to take this one with a healthy side of cynicism: a recent spread in Grazia magazine claimed that celebs including Madonna have been taken in by something called L'Air Fooding, which is even more insane than it sounds.
L'Air Fooding basically involves holding food up to your mouth without actually eating it. Just take a moment to process those words. Apparently the ethos behind the air diet is to reach a state of biology-defying enlightenment:
A person who believes that it is possible, through meditation, to reach a level of consciousness where one can obtain all sustenance from the air or sunlight.
So next time you find yourself bathing in the sun, chop up an apple, put the pieces to your mouth one by one, and then toss them away for the birds to munch on. You might find yourself surprisingly satisfied. But then again, you might not.
4. The Wolverine Diet (Hugh Jackman)
Or to give it its proper name, the 16:8 diet. This one is actually rooted in some pretty sound scientific basis, namely the notion of intermittent fasting (IF). It actually makes sense - by restricting your "eating window" to eight hours per day, your body breaks down and digests the food you eat fully. The sixteen hour "fasting window" is half taken up by sleep anyway. So eat your first meal at around 11am and your last at 7pm, and you're unlikely to be hungry. You can chop down on body fat by observing these rules, but it probably goes without saying that the getting buff part still requires some serious gym hours.
Read more about the 16:8 at Men's Health.
5. The clean sex diet (Nicolas Cage, obv)
Unfortunately this one is not quite as exciting as it first sounds. Speaking to UK tabloid and renowned pinnacle of journalism The Sun, Nicolas Cage spoke about his fairly unique method of selecting what goes on his plate...
I actually choose the way I eat according to the way animals have sex. I think fish are very dignified with sex. So are birds. But pigs, not so much. So I don’t eat pig meat or things like that. I eat fish and fowl.
What's really interesting here is that, when not busy being the most talented actor in Hollywood, Nic has clearly spent time studying the animal kingdom and its reproductive habits, and why not? Vive le fucking France!