If there's one thing I enjoy getting as a stocking filler it's an insane fan theory.
Luckily for us all, Christmas came early this year when this funny tinfoil hat Home Alone fan theory surfaced on Reddit. It's truly a masterpiece – all the classical fan theory elements are there, such as biblical references and geographical knowledge you never knew you needed before.
The theory goes that Kevin's mom sold her soul to the devil and that the devil is an overweight polka player with a van.
So here's how it works
Remember that scene at Scranton airport where Kevin's mom is trying to get on a flight back home? She's more or less harassing the guy at the help desk when a creature in yellow notices she needs help.
Kate isn't able to get on any plane, as they are all fully booked, and in a moment of desperation she says she will do anything to get home, even "If I have to sell my soul to the devil himself." The moment she utters those words, creepy Gus Polinski, a.k.a the Devil, gets more interested and draws in closer, like a hunter stalking his prey.
He gets her attention and lures her over to his group of devil worshippers, where they all agree she can join them in their van back to Chicago. (Further evidence that getting in a van with a strange man is never a good idea.)
The next piece of evidence to support this theory is that Scranton airport is located right next to a crossroad. It was a common belief back in the good ol' days that if you wanted something you could summon the devil at the crossroads to strike a deal.
To sum it up, Kate struck a deal with a demon in close proximity to a crossroad and that's how she sold her soul.
In the van, we even see Satan and his minions play various instruments, a seemingly innocent gesture until you realize something.
There is a certain passage in the Bible which describes the devil, and apparently musical instruments were incorporated in his body when he was created.
"Ezekiel 28:13: [...] the workmanship of thy tabrets and of thy pipes was prepared in thee in the day that thou wast created."
In this context, tabrets and pipes mean drums and wind instruments, such as the clarinet we see Gus playing in the van. They are clearly performing some Satanic ritual here in order to celebrate the acquisition of a new soul.
By now you must be convinced that Home Alone is indeed satanic propaganda and not just an innocent story for children.
So who is behind this demonic betrayal?
I will let this image speak for itself.
If you're feeling nostalgic, here's a clip of the iconic aftershave scene from the movie for you to enjoy.