ByHeather Snowden, writer at
Lover of bad puns, nostalgic feels and all things Winona. Email: [email protected] Tweet: @heathbetweetin
Heather Snowden

Hollywood is littered with eccentric characters desperate to stand out from the crowd with their crazy, kooky antics, although how this comes across to the public varies from person to person. Some satisfy their outlandish personalities by dancing on stage with their boobs out, some by sitting in a cinema for three days straight watching their entire back catalogue, and some by posting dead rats to their co-stars.

Some, however, choose to display their quirky style in a different way all together: by lumbering their offspring with a completely ridiculous name, either for life or until the poor creature develops the smarts to change it. Here are 16 of the best:

1. Pilot Inspektor - Jason Lee

An ode to a Grandaddy song called "He's Simple, He's Dumb, He's the Pilot." High expectations then, eh?

2. Fifi Trixibelle - Bob Geldof and Paula Yates

Kind of sounds like the names of three overpriced poodles slammed into one.

3. Saint West - Kim Kardashian and Kanye West


4. Apple - Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin

From the woman who'd rather "smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin,” this name is relatively unoffensive.

5. Kal-El - Nicolas Cage

Apparently named after Superman, but tbh this sounds more like a restaurant dish I'd be too afraid to order.

6. Blue Angel - The Edge (U2)

An ode to Paris Hilton's 12th perfume.

Just kidding. Or am I?

7. Petal Blossom Rainbow - Jamie Oliver

Because Candy Unicorn Glitter was taken.

8. Moon Unit and Diva Thin Muffin - Frank Zappa

You better hope those kids aren't overweight, because stamping them with the words 'Unit', 'Thin' and 'Muffin', from birth is a bow wrapped gift to school bullies.

9. Jermajesty - Jermain Jackson

To be expected.

10. Moxie CrimeFighter - Penn Jillette

Something to do with getting out of speeding fines? Yeah, I don't know either.

11. Tu Morrow - Rob Morrow

How many times per day do you reckon the Numb3rs actor's daughter has this sang at her?

12. Audio Science - Shannyn Sossamon

Audio Science? I'm sure I took that class.

13. Blanket - Michael Jackson

Only joking, Blanket is just a nickname. His real name is Prince Michael II. Much saner!

14. Satchel - Mia Farrow and Woody Allen

Satchel also realized that the name Satchel is pretty mad, so changed it to Ronan as soon as he could.

15. Seven - Erykah Badu and Andre 3000

"[It’s] a number and a force that cannot be divided."

Ok then.

16. Royal Reign - Lil' Kim + Papers

Royal Reign? Take THAT, KimYe

Source: Cracked, ET, She Knows


Latest from our Creators