ByNiji Neon, writer at

The Human Centipede is not what I expected it would be. I thought it would be more gross than anything else. But I was wrong .....

I was on my google play account searching for some movies to watch and to add to my collection. I was in the mood for horror and google play does not have much for old horror films. The ones I'm really into are the ones from the late sixties to about the mid nineties. All the rest in my book with a few exceptions , are a piece of crap waiting for some one to step on. So I bit my tongue and got on my big girl pants and dealt with it instead of whining like a little bitch. When The Human Centipede popped up on my suggestion box I was like what the hell why not give the damn thing a chance and rent it. I was judging the book(movie) by it's cover when The Human Centipede comes to my mind. It's new horror it's not gonna be any good... and allot of people are saying how bad this movie is in the comments on google play. Also people's reviews on some of the You Tube channels seem to be hyping this movie up to be a video nasty. Well let me tell ya, it is not as gross as it seems or how people say it is. Maybe because I watched so much horror nothing really shocks me only when they use babies or animals being harmed. That is a no no for me don't get me started on Pet Cemetery. With that said let me get into the review.....

Two American girls visiting Germany are in their hotel room getting ready to go to some club a boy at a bar told them about. They are talking to a friend and telling her about what they are doing while getting ready to go to this club. They take a wrong turn, get lost and end up on a secluded road out in the woods. Their rental car pops a tire and now they are stranded out in the middle of nowhere in Germany. Also they don't speak a word of German. Yes, people they are screwed all they have is each other and a How to speak German book. So both girls are fighting because one is blaming the other for getting them lost.

Then one of the friends has this bright idea to go through the woods and find help. The girls then travel through the woods bitch'in and whining of why did I get into this mess .They are in luck. The American girls so happened to find a house out in the middle of the woods like Hansel and Gretel. But this time the house in not made of candy and does not house a witch but a mad doctor who has this obsession of conjoined twins. His first experiment which were adult Rottweilers conjoined at the ass failed. So the sick fuck (sorry for my P's and Q's but this doctor is one just watch the movie and you will agree with me.) decides to use humans instead. I think he gets off using humans sort of a sexual fantasy he has. In one scene, the dude swims naked in his pool while the human centipede watches. (they are also naked except for their underpants.) Yes folks he sews them together so that they are stuck to each other's asses and if someone shits the other one gets it in their mouth as a food source (the mildly gross part). Yes that is the gross part of the movie but that is it. it does not show it at all because the mouth is covering up the anus of the person in front. It's not in my mind a Video nasty I've seen more grosser ones.

Though I think it's a cool play on the Grimm tale Hansel and Gretel. Maybe the director was not thinking of it at the time. But now looking back on it I do see the resemblance. Maybe you do to after watching it. And let me know if you do think it's like the fairy tale Hansel and Gretel.(so I'm not the only who thinks it.) I'm giving this movie a rating of 5.2 stars because it's not that bad and gross. This movie is good for the newbie who wants to get into stuff like this before he or she moves up to the big boy/girls "Video Nasty"/ gore/Horror genre . There is not much gore in this film just some creepy German doctor who just wants to have people become conjoined at the ass.

I don't want to give this movie's ending away so if you guys want to watch it on a day that you're bored and just want to watch something kinda gross and perverse you can click on this. Trust me it's not that bad you wont puke as much as you think you will.

So word to the wise, If your car breaks down on a road that is in the middle of nowhere In Germany . And you see a house in the woods, Run far far away because a mad doctor lives there. He does not eat children just goes after adults and conjoins them to each others asses....


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