ByJames Wood, writer at
Unabashed Transformers fan. Man crush on Tom Hardy. Avid fan of Tommy Wiseau's cult disasterpiece The Room.
James Wood

I am obsessed with this movie. I am fascinated by this movie. Everything about The Room from start to finish, top to bottom, leaves me in awe and happiness. I have never seen anything like it and will most likely never do again. The dialogue is something from another planet, the acting is a mixed bag, a mixed bag that has been tossed into a washing machine.

You have to admire Tommy Wiseau, though, the main star and producer and director and writer of this 2003 cult hit, he's done well for himself making a name because of the notoriety of how awfully good this romantic drama is. Fans attend screenings from all over to experience his creation, memorabilia and merchandise can be found in many places over the internet, and the mere mention of the many quotes heard in The Room is likely to turn heads, I've met fans of this film in the unlikeliest of places and the discussions and laughs had about The Room make some of the best conversations about film.

Over a dozen watches later and I'm still entertained by this film. It's not even boring, I find myself waiting for the best bits to play out. It's about time I made my top 10 favourite moments of Tommy Wiseau's disasterpiece The Room:

10. All The Sex Scenes - Candles, rain pouring on the windows, rose petals, linen hanging from the bed tops creating the cosiest looking pad ever. Cue the most painfully cliche and cheesy love ballads and strap yourself in for the most prolonged sex scenes. Jonny and Lisa get it on, Mark and Lisa get it on, then Jonny gets it on with Lisa's dress, if that counts as a sex scene.

9. "CHIRP CHIRRPPP CHIRRRPPPPP" - When someone throws shade or insult in a film the burns can be great, who doesn't love a bit of banter and offence? The best The Room can do for banter and shade sees Mark, Jonny and Denny imitate birds and chickens to taunt others. Careful guys, if you're sensitive to criticism and insult stay away from the chirping

8. "Anyway, how's your sex life?" - Throughout this film there are great moments where characters cut up conversation by dropping random questions, the best sees Jonny ask about Mark's sex life whilst having a coffee together. Mark wants to know about Jonny's job and his clients, but he's not letting him have any gossip, so what better way to stray the conversation than sex?

7. "I definitely have breast cancer" - If there was an Oscar for "Best forgotten subplots", The Room would win instantly. In a scene between Lisa and her Mum Claudette, a serious illness is brought up and forgotten in a millisecond. Claudette reveals "I got the results of the test back, I definitely have breast cancer". Lisa continues to whine on about her marriage, that is the last you hear about this cancer problem....

6. Tommy Wiseau's laugh - After many viewings, I think I can do a pretty decent impersonation of his laugh. Seeing as every sentence from Wiseau ends with a laugh no matter how serious or dark the conversation, you can't help but ignore his strange chuckle in The Room. Even after hearing about someone getting beaten up and hospitalised, he laughs in the most relaxed manner. Listen out and try the drinking game for every time he laughs.

5. The Opening - The minute Jonny walks in, he greets his "future wife" (He never says fiancee') with the loudest entrance ever saying "OH HAII BABE". He gives her a red dress, she tries it on. Enter Denny, a neighbour, who comments on how hot Lisa looks in front of her and Jonny. Anyone else get a strange aura surrounding this opening? Even so, it's a funny scene when listening to how poor the dialogue works, yet it works because of this film's infamy.

4. Every single "Oh hi" - Another one to play a drinking game to, every instance Wiseau says "Oh hi" to someone or something take a shot. There are dedicated YouTube videos devoted to a compilation of this piece of dialogue alone.

3. "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA!" - I consider this absolutely clanger of a line to be iconic. The emotion, the drama, it's almost too much. In a recent screening at my university the entire class joined in Mr. Wiseau reciting this very line!

2. "Can I have a dozen red roses?" - Without a doubt the most alien and inhuman way to communicate and purchase something from a convenience store ever. This scene is performed at breakneck speed, but who needs to breathe and pause in between conversation right?

1. The Rooftop Scene - Ahh, simply the finest, most enthralling and unbelievably unusual five minutes of cinema ever put to screen. My favourite quote of the entire film delivered by Wiseau himself starts the scene: "I did not hit her, it's not true, it's bullshit! I did not her hit, I did not!" - Proceeds to throwing a bottle - "Oh hi Mark!". The change of mood, the wooden interactions between Wiseau and Sestero, incredibly awkward green screen and Mark's story about his ex-girlfriend who got beaten up by a guy "so badly she ended up in a hospital in Guerrero Street" is a story to remember. When Mark strops off, Denny comes in and Tommy gives him life lessons on love and the future, before going to the cinema and deciding "Let's go eat huhhh?". Just check this masterpiece scene out for yourself!

If you've seen The Room, please comment below, let me know your favourite moments and your general view of this cult hit.


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