ByKit Simpson Browne, writer at Creators.co
Writer-at-large. Bad jokes aplenty. Can be gently prodded on Twitter at @kitsb1
Kit Simpson Browne

(Note - the following contains ABSOLUTELY NO SPOILERS FOR STAR WARS EPISODE VII: THE FORCE AWAKENS. Trust me on this one...)

So, here's the thing. I've seen Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, and yet I'm not here to to talk about its plot, its twists and turns, or what I thought about it. Sure, I used up a decade's worth of luck, and got to see it a day or two early, but here's the thing – if someone had tried to tell me a single, remotely spoiler-ish thing about the movie before I had the chance to see it, I would have thrown bantha droppings at them until they stopped.

So I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to review the movie, or tease plot details, or hint at subtle things to look out for. What I am going to do, though, is talk about...

The One (and Only) Thing You Need to Know Going Into 'Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens'

Specifically, this:

It doesn't matter what you've read on the Internet...

...what your friends all think...

...what reviewers argue...

... or people who don't 'get' the saga say...

... and it doesn't matter whether you're so over-excited you could scream...

...or terrified of the movie disappointing you...

...just like it doesn't matter whether you're seeing the movie today...

...tomorrow...

...next week...

...or on DVD in a few months time...

...because right now...

...at this exact, specific moment...

...THERE IS A BRAND. NEW. STAR WARS. MOVIE TO WATCH...

...and in the face of that, everything else is just noise...

...because Chewie? We're home...

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