So new year's eve is upon us, and we're all making plans.
Mine will probably involve being at a house party somewhere, sipping beer at calculated intervals, feigning social adeptness.
I'll most likely be perched uncomfortably on the corner of a couch, making polite and awkward conversation with acquaintances who also sip their beer at calculated intervals, as if we were all partaking in some intentionally underwhelming ritual.
As I was doing my research for this article, I realized that maybe I am doing something wrong. Celebrities like Beyoncé, Simon Cowell and Drake all seem to be having the time of their lives as they welcome in the new calendar year. Not only that, but many jet set all over the world to exotic locations such as the Caribbean or the Swiss mountains.
Regarding this article, what I have done and suggest you do, is to celebrate vicariously through these pop culture juggernauts if you feel like your own normal-person measly plans don't quite measure up.
Forget sipping hot cocoa and making conversation with your ancient uncle or playing scrabble with your nan (unless you're totally into that). You're now Beyoncé, on the back of Jay Z's motorbike, riding along some highway in Miami heading from the Versace palace to P. Diddy's mansion.
These are 5 celebrity insane New Year's Eve parties of former years that we only can wish we were invited to.
1. Roman Abramovich and Daria Zhukova
A couple of years ago, billionaire Abramovich hosted a new year's eve party that was reported to cost $7.5 million. The party took place on the island of St.Barts in the Caribbean where Abramovich and wife Dasha have a home.
Guests have included people you may have heard of such as George Lucas and the Red Hot Chili Peppers (who have also performed).
Abramovich is reported be quite a chilled out host and lets many of his international guests stay the night. Although this ain't no 'find some space on the sofa otherwise the floor' affair. Rather, guests stay on Roman's superyacht with the enticing name 'Eclipse'.
I wonder whether flight costs were covered by Abramovich to get to this very remote island.
2. P. Diddy
P. Diddy hosted a new year's eve party that will no doubt satisfy you. Unfortunately, you (and me) didn't get an invite so we only have the intoxicated chirpy smiles of A-list celebrities to know what level of satisfaction P.Diddy's party reached.
Guests included Robin Thicke, Drake (who took to DJ-ing for around an hour), kind and queen of pop culture Beyoncé and Jay Z who hopped on over to P. Diddy's Miami crib after stopping off and having a few drinkies at none other than the Versace mansion. Macy Gray also attended the event and was reported to have ended up in the pool -- who can blame here, really?
For the early morning survivors, breakfast was served at 5am as a reward for having enough mojo to last a night of exuberance and extravagance with every celeb worth mentioning on the planet.
Living the life of luxury can be hard, okay? Sometimes, early morning quail eggs and caviar is what you need as a self-reward for doing a good job.
3. 1OAK, Las Vegas
In 2013, Las Vegas club 1OAK held a party that was off the chain. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were there, Leonardo DiCaprio was at the scene, Chrissy Teigen and Lance Bass made an appearance.
Actor and singer Jamie Foxx was also there and even got on stage to do an exclusive performance of "Gold digger", his super hit with Kanye.
4. Simon Cowell and Sir Philip Green
The man responsible for subjecting us to 'One Direction' (up for discussion whether that's a good or bad thing) is known to throw a good ol' new year's eve bash in Barbados. Guests include high profile British celebrities and Cowell co-hosted with tycoon Sir Philip Green who is the chairman of Arcadia that is compromised of a massive portion of UK retailers.
One guest, Sinitta had the following to say about the festivities:
'It's completely debauched. We all go to Sandy Lane as guests of Sir Philip and his family.
'It starts with all the men looking suave in suits, while all the ladies wear elegant dresses - but by the end of the night we all end up in the pool with our diamonds and champagne glasses and often not much else.'
The epitome of eccentric extravagance is this new year's eve party held by designer Valentino and partner Giancarlo Giammetti in Gstaad, Switzerland.
Guests include Hollywood and celebrity royalty with the likes of Madonna and Anne Hathaway attending.
Lady Liliana Cavendish also attended the event but conceded she did not really remember much of the affair:
"I was in Gstaad, Switzerland. All the royals were there—and Madonna and Valentino. There was so much caviar, vodka, and fireworks. And I wanted to fit in and be a queen for a day, but I ended up with my head in a toilet; by midnight, I was fast asleep in bed."
I can totally relate to Lady Liliana Cavendish. I bet attending an event of such grandeur like Valentino's new years eve party is so overwhelming and otherworldly, that the unlimited champagne bar seems to be the only anchor, offering any stability during the dizzying storm of unbridled decadence. At least Lady Liliana can say she was there!