ByTommy DePaoli, writer at
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Tommy DePaoli

Home Alone is far and away the greatest Christmas movie of all time, and those who disagree definitely don't have what it takes to apprehend a couple of misguided robbers with only household essentials. I mean, this moment alone is enough to warrant a rewatch every single year.

Despite my undying love for this holiday classic, I can still admit that the parental guidance in this movie was sorely lacking. In a household with dozens of children, every so-called "adult" never quite figured out what it meant to be a caretaker (arguably until the end, but don't forget they lose their son again in Home Alone 2). Essentially, most of the kids get treated like this, especially Kevin McCallister.

Now, we're finally getting a glimpse at what that kind of trauma can do to a person thanks to this original video starring Macaulay Culkin himself. The pilot episode in the web series :DRYVRS, "Just Me In The House By Myself" finds little Kevin all grown up, but he's still got the same ol' mommy issues.

He's become a ride-share driver...who doesn't know how to drive

Jack Dishel via YouTube
Jack Dishel via YouTube

And he's clearly been through some shit. He's erratic, crazed, and way too quick to disclose his personal history. At first it doesn't seem like this whacko and Culkin's most famous character are one in the same, until he starts talking about his family.

"Your whole family—WHOLE FAMILY—goes on vacation..."

Jack Dishel via YouTube
Jack Dishel via YouTube

"And they forget about you!" It's been 25 years since this little (okay, huge) mishap, and that little kid who has so good at defending his home has been scarred for life.

At least he picked up some fighting skills along the way

Jack Dishel via YouTube
Jack Dishel via YouTube

When the car almost gets hijacked, Kevin quickly jumps into action, but that quickly takes a dark, dark turn. Turns out he's been waiting for the right person to work his issues out on.

Watch the full NSFW video here

I guess there's a reason these movies have been limited to the childhood years because this might be the grimmest thing I've seen around the holidays.

(Source: YouTube)


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