The Peanuts movie was released last month to minimal excitement and sadly, not too shabby reviews. Rotten tomatoes gave it an outstanding 85%(return of the jedi only got an 80%), and metacritic has decided on a score of 64%. Other critics have chimed in, calling the film "gorgeous", "charming", and "daring".
The peanuts movie is about as gorgeous, charming, and daring as a bowl of melted vanilla ice cream, and has about the same amount of plot to it. As a long time fan of the peanuts, I left the theater feeling genuinely insulted by this film, they had taken everything beautiful about the peanuts; the cleverness, the feeling of determination in the face of adversity, and above all else, the charm, and threw it down the toilet. Even long held laws of the peanuts were broken (everyone loved charlie brown, making him no longer the underdog and the little red haired girl's face is shown, removing her status an an unattainable goal for charlie brown).
Disregarding what made the peanuts great could've worked regardless, peanuts could have been it's own being, not necessarily reminiscent of peanuts, but a new take on it, and peanuts could've accomplished this, but there was a much bigger problem, one that really has nothing to do with the original peanuts: the movie has no plot.
Obviously, the over-arching plot is (spoilers) charlie brown trying to get jiggy with the little red haired girl, but the problem is that the movie is just a collection of different attempts at winning the little red haired girl's heart, no of them really connect to each other, and they cut off the stories at random times. On one occasion, charlie is writing a book report and is partnered with the LRHG, she is away at the time, and so he writes it himself, and it is then destroyed, ruining his chances of impressing her. And that's it. The paper is never mentioned again, it just cuts off there. Nobody even seems to remember it later on, and it has no real significance to the plot. This is the curse of the peanuts movie, it boils down to a clip-show of charlie brown messing up and then moving on to a new screw up
Speaking of no real significance to the plot, the snoopy subplot exists. I say it merely exists, because that's the only purpose it serves, existence, time killing existence. As with many snoopy stories, this one is imaginary, but takes place in many different parts, all of which are basically the same thing; snoopy tries to get with the pink dog that looks exactly like him, and both dogs are pilots. Snoopy saves the pink dog a couple of times, none of it really matters, as it's all imaginary and plays no part in the plot, and people like me are left nearly falling asleep during an array of two minute sections of the movie. These sections would be forgivable if they were at least entertaining or funny, but they were not. The story takes place in an imaginary world, and the films decides not to show how snoopy looks int he real world, like previous peanuts movies, until the every last sequence, which is definitely the funniest. Snoopy's fantasies aren't funny unless they're contrasted with reality. It's funny that snoopy truly believes he's a world war 1 flying ace, or that he's a colonial soldier, fighting with George Washington, and everyone else, knowing that he's not, react to that, and reality intervenes in his fantasies. What isn't funny is just watching snoopy's fantasies play out, uninterrupted. It leaves us with a total of around 20 minutes of snoopy flying his doghouse, not interacting with anyone, not having to come to terms with reality at any point.
Because of all this, charlie brown and the search for the missing plot left me feeling quite a bit like charlie brown, after a failure