ByDen Tehsupercow Lamb, writer at
Not a writer. DC fanboy. Staffy lover. Carer.
Den Tehsupercow Lamb

Sounds confusing, right? Wrong. It's rather quite simple.

"Bat"man is being portrayed by an aging Hollywood actor, much like Ironman is, both had ups and downs in their careers! Coincidence? No. Bat? Bats tend to be in caves, know what else is in caves? Iron Ore! Bruce Wayne is playing earth 7811918171 Tony Stark!

"Super"man is being played by a some what "decent" but mostly mediocre actor, but like, Captain America! They both wear red and blue, they both represent the all American boy scout, Clark Kent. Steve Rodgers. You know what those names have in common? Clark and Steve are both five letters long! Kent and Rodgers? You guessed it, they're both 7 letters long, if you add 'tit' on the end of Kent! (Gamer slang for cunt, nah mean?) Captain America.

captaiN AMerica.

NAM is Man backwards, and he took SUPER solider serum, thus this is reason enough to believe, Henry Cavill is really playing CAPTAIN AMERICA of Earth 2.

"Wonder" "Woman" is being played by someone in that tiny country called Europe full of Greeks from Amazon! Just like you can buy ScarJo's Oscar quality tit... I mean films, on AMAZON! Black Widow, Wonder Woman. They both have THE SAME amount of letters in their names! This evidence makes it quite clear that Gal Gadot, is really BLACK WIDOW of Earth 89198!

"Aquaman" - Played by Jason Momoa. Who's he comparable to? Well he's not white.. Just like MARK RUFFALO! He also wears GREEN pants! Jason Momoa is playing Hulked out HULK from earth 9.

"Cy""Borg" uses mechanical stuff and thangs to woop some arse! Much like? You guessed it! FALCON AND ANT-MAN! All three of these characters have SIX letters in their names! Now, Cyborg is black, and so is Falcon, but Ant-Man? Well he's clearly whiter than spunk. But you see, as Adi Mcdumbshit said on Collider News, WB is very white supremacy, so they made their typically BLACK character, a white washed version, but not so white washed, they get backlash for it! WB are Nazis!

Fl"ash" - Uses speed, looks weird, has a shit hair cut. Much like... QUICKSILVER... and Thor(Gotta have been on some high quality Speed to have agreed to do Thor 2.)

Now for the MONEY SHOT of all COMIC BOOK things that I instantly learned about from their 78 year history from watching three quarters of the first Avengers movie.

Jesse Eisenberg is playing... Lex Banner! A combination of Lex Luthor and Bruce Banner!

Lex, as in Lexicography, the art of writing, and Banner as in, that thing you hang up when you've finally lost your virginity to your dads Fleshlight (I'm looking at you, Andre).

There you have it! This "DCEU" Is really the MCEU and Zack Snyder is lying to you!


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