A user on Reddit claims to have seen Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice in all its glory, and he wants you to know exactly what he thinks about it.
Before we proceed: this article is all about spoilers, and just in case you're one of those people who doesn't bother reading intros, here's a spoiler warning only the blind could miss.
The Redditer in question, ViolatingNDA, claims to have been invited to an advance screening for a mystery film which transpired to be BvS.
Taken from his intriguing review, here are some of the key takeaways which shed a big fat spotlight on what to expect from Batman vs Superman (I'll leave it up to you to decide whether or not to trust what you're about to read).
1. A classic three-act narrative (with a twist)
The film is longer than 2 hours, "roughly as long as The Force Awakens" (that would make it 135 minutes), and is split into 3 acts. The first two concern the titular fight, but the third is all about the coming together of the Justice League.
[There's] no cliffhanger. Film ends with the Justice League members knowing about each other and agreeing to work together again if anything bad happens like this again. Batman was reluctant though.
The third act was mind-blowing. The Doomsday reveal in the trailer is just the tip of the iceberg.
Considering reliable sources have previously suggested that an end credits montage will set up the Justice League, Watchmen-style, I'm on the fence about this. Then again, it makes sense that the entire JL would be needed to wipe out Doomsday.
2. Lex is a "jealous, complex" evil mastermind
Here's what our lucky comrade had to say about Lex's persona and involvement in the Doomsday plot:
He created Doomsday because he was pushed to the limit by Superman. He wanted Batman to kill him, but when he didn't, Lex felt like he had no other choice. This Lex is true to the comics in the way that he is extremely jealous of Superman and wants nothing else than to see him fall.
Nothing we hadn't already guessed there...
Jesse Eisenberg as Lex is way more complex than what the trailers show. By the end of the film, you will HATE him, but at the same time, you can't help admire how capable this guy is.
Those who couldn't stand the idea of Jesse Eisenberg playing Lex Luthor with a healthy dash of Mark Zuckerberg arrogance thrown in might be a little more relaxed to hear that he won't be a cartoon villain.
3. Wonder Woman has beef with Aquaman
More about the dynamic between the heroes who make up the Justice League:
Ezra Miller's Flash is witty and doesn't take things too seriously. He introduces himself to others as the Central City blur they might have been hearing about, and Wonder Woman explains who Aquaman is when he first appears. Wonder Woman doesn't particularly like him.
Superheroes, superegos, as they say. (Nobody says that.)
4. Bruce Wayne "enjoys inflicting pain"
This one really is interesting. ViolatingNDA describes Ben Affleck's performance as the clear standout, going into some depth about his psyche...
I was surprised/scared how different he became when he put the mask on. This Batman will come across as a villain to some viewers; he enjoys inflicting pain on criminals.
There was a scene where he was branding a criminal, and he had the biggest smile on his face. I don't know how fans will react to that, but I felt it worked with this version of the character.
Before now there's not been much mention of Batman playing the vigilante outside of his pursuit to do battle with Superman, but the notion of him becoming more of a sadist when caped and masked is something completely new. I won't lie, I'm digging it.
5. Yes, there's a 'Killing Joke' reference
This one should be music to Batman fanboys' ears. The Killing Joke is widely considered one of the best, perhaps the best, DC comics ever.
Jena Malone plays a crippled Barbara Gordon. She doesn't have much screentime, but she does make a Killing Joke reference about an amusement park incident involving her now retired father.
It's no secret that Zack Snyder is an absolute devotee of comic book canon, but this one almost sounds too obviously like fan service to be real.
6. Green Lantern is in this movie
...allegedly, played by the little-known Dan Amboyer.
Of all the gossip shared this is the piece that has my BS alarm ringing the loudest, because I can't imagine they could actually have kept this quiet, but here's the exact quote:
His costume wasn't full CGI, but had CGI enhancements. White gloves and domino mask are all there. He has blonde highlights. Amboyer as Hal Jordan was funny. He was cocky and he had every right to be with all the cool stuff he did.
You can check out the Reddit post in full right here.
What do you reckon? I find it difficult to believe Warner Bros would put a movie of this magnitude out for secret screeners, but who knows? For the record, another commenter in the Reddit thread breezed in and debunked the whole shebang:
As someone who's worked on the film in post, I regret to inform you that ViolatingNDA's [post is] false. To their credit, [he] did randomly guess three or four items that do indeed occur in the final cut of the movie.