ByPaul Donovan, writer at
A jerk with an opinion. An explorer of transgressive cinema. See more things about movies at
Paul Donovan

Random, lazy, and unimaginative, it doesn't even feel like a real movie.

1. The first Magic Mike movie was directed by Steven Soderbergh, so it was actually a real movie. It wasn't so much about strippers as young aimless men lured into a flashy but shallow business, run by a flashy but shady manager.

2. This movie was not directed by Steven Soderbergh. This was not a real movie. It was more like an idea of a movie that they never finished. With key members of the cast gone.

3. The story is basically a less-believable version of The Wizard of Oz. The boys gather to take a road trip to a far-away, famous stripper convention, and they run across various characters along the way. They also learn that what they were really looking for has been with them all along. Seriously.

4. Both movies were written by the same person, but it didn't seem like it. There were flashes of intelligence and humor here, but nothing like the first movie. This movie didn't really have a heart. Or a brain. Or a point.

5. Along the journey, the men go to a drag bar, and they win an amateur dance-Vogue thing. Then they meet Andie McDowell, an aging southern belle who regrets her past sexual choices. Then they meed Jada Pinkett Smith, who has this Eyes Wide Shut mansion where men exist to make women feel like queens. The guys also take molly and make all new dance routines, based on the men that they really feel like inside. Except the new dances are all kinda stupid. And sometimes they advertise Pepsi.

6. Don't get me wrong. I think Donald Glover is a great actor, and I'll watch anything he's in. But he was an awkward fit for this movie, even if he did play a wannabe rapper named Andre.

7. The actual stripper convention was very anticlimactic. The final routines were short and dumb. Well, except for the very last one with Channing Tatum and Stephen "Twitch" Boss. That mirror routine was cool, I admit.

8. The movie is fun to watch in that "guilty pleasure" kinda way. But it's not actually good or anything.

9. The movie doesn't have an ending. It just stops. Like this review.

What do you think? Was it a quality movie, or just eye candy? Put some more points below!


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