As you may or may not have heard, Saoirse Ronan is now British according to Sky News.
Yesterday, Sky News anchorman Richard Suchet claimed the New York-born, Carlow-raised, Tropical Popical-loving Irishwoman for Britain. Suchet then doubled down on these comments, claiming that Brits were rooting for her and that it was meant as a compliment.
Ah-huh. Right. Got it.
So, in the spirit of cultural exchange with Britain and the fact that they're claiming Saoirse Ronan as British, we've drawn up a modest list of five actors we're taking for Ireland. Remember to take this in the spirit with which it was meant, folks.
5. IAN McKELLEN & PATRICK STEWART
If the two of these men wanted to get married here, they could do so happily because Ireland is the first country to recognise same-sex marriage by popular vote. So, there's that. Plus, you could easily imagine Patrick Stewart hanging out somewhere in Killaloe whilst McKellen could be easily seen in The George playing Bingo.
4. EMILY BLUNT
Although she's now technically American, we're taking in Emily Blunt. She's a fine, strong woman who could easily be at home in Ireland. She'd probably get herself a nice little cottage on the foot of Mount Leinster in Wexford. Plus, her husband, John Krasinski, has Irish relations so that works out well.
3. DAME MAGGIE SMITH
Maggie Smith would love it here in Ireland. For one, nobody would bother her - something she talked about when she was on Graham Norton. Plus, we have the finest scones and tea on the planet so she'll be sorted. And, if she wanted a natter, she could pop down to Moore Street to chat with one of the traders.
2. RICHARD E. GRANT
Again, technically born in Swaziland, Richard E. Grant has a serious bang of NUI Maynooth lecturer off him. You could easily imagine Grant walking through the Seminary and eating in the Coffee Mill on Main St. or having a quiet pint in Brady's when he's done marking your exam. He'd love it here.
1. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH
He might get the odd bit of slagging for having a name like that, but 'oul Benny would do well here in Ireland. Like Richard E. Grant, he could probably getting a nice teaching job - English, probably - in a secondary school. He'd even invite his mate, Martin Freeman, over for a weekend and end up convincing him to stay.