ByMohammed Hidhayat, writer at
22 | Waiting for Mass Effect: Andromeda | Favorite movie this month: Midnight Special |
Mohammed Hidhayat

Chennai & Beyond

Terrence Malick is busy shooting his next untitled philosophical crap with an ensemble cast and a cinematographer who captures the surreal beauty of birds pooping from the sky whilst actors provide their career best performance. A close aide working on the sets has revealed that Terrence Malick is a lazy guy and that he needs severe motivation to giddy up and direct. So, when a reporter pinned him down at a jazz club and asked what motivates him the most, he replied, “Right now, I believe the ethereal feel of ‘Beep song’ wakes me up in the morning and prolongs the day. It has a renaissance effect on modern love. I’ve always been interested in dissecting contemporary love- the way a soul of this age is easily flattered by looks and deceptions yet meanders around waiting for life to turn tables. I appreciate this joy although incomprehensible to my fornicating policies. This song is all about it. It is my second favorite piece of lyric next to "Fitz And The Tantrums – Out Of My League”.

Akon and Simbu promoting Gay Brotherhood campaign in Kotturpuram
Akon and Simbu promoting Gay Brotherhood campaign in Kotturpuram

Thanks to Malick’s word of mind & mouth and the pathological condition of mainstream media, music journalism took over the mantle and pursued their reviewing of the ‘Beep song’. Rolling Stone gave a bold rating and called it a ‘mature and flamboyant take on youth, love and sacrifice’ while Pitchfork has called it a fast-paced reproduction of ‘the gloom and loneliness of teenage love and heartbreak.

To further extend his thanks to Silambarasan for helping him overcome ‘director’s block’, Malick made a trans-Atlantic cum Pacific telephone call to Subramanian Swamy who was at that time busy attending a marriage function. On coming back home, he redialed the number on his caller ID. The two personalities engaged in a conversation of a lifetime. Malick was a diabetic and he had to take his daily dose of medicine. He cut short the convo by echoing his support to the now absconding artist Simbu, “I believe it was Freud who said If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother. But in this case, it’s the media, the audience and the censor board. Everyone is an imbecile when they take the role of an audience”. Taken aback by this commentary, Swamy went into limbo and came back as a man of grit, lover of art and supporter of lacklustre artistry. A writ was penned down to hail ye lyrics of the noble and honorable Silambarasan Tesingu Rajendar and introduced to both the houses of the parliament.

It is up for vote in the Rajya Sabha today. Whatever the consensus is, Simbu will go down in immediate history as the artist who broke free from the shackles of public censorship and gave the Indian version of John Lennon – Imagine. Meanwhile, Subramanian Swamy still feels the song is a letdown compared to Ravi Shankar’s performance at Monterey Pop.

H/t : Subramanian Swamy has made a new cinematic discovery about a recently released Tamil film

This is a troll piece by the way :)


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