ByBebhinn Feochadan, writer at
I love most things geeky. Doctor Who, Star Trek, Star Wars, D&D, LARP... You get the idea.
Bebhinn Feochadan

I know, its kind of lame, writing a review five years after the movie came out. I have a good excuse, I don't go to the theater much. I actually just watched this in its TV appropriate edit on USA network.

The premise, a dad escapes Hell to rescue his infant granddaughter from the cultists that killed his daughter and plan to sacrifice the baby. Along the way he does a lot of fancy driving, gets to pick the woman to take care of the baby, and does a LOT of shooting.

The main character, Milton, is played by Nicholas Cage. My opinion, I like Nic Cage, he's a great actor. As Milton, he really showed what a man on a mission looks like, plus, he had great hair.

Piper, played by Amber Heard, is a badass diner lady when Milton crosses her path. Very personable, and kind to patrons, even though her boss yells at her about it. Milton observes her, while trying to politely ignore the advances of the other waitress. We all want to quit a bad job in an epic way once in a while, Piper actually does it.

She's pretty, kind, and takes no crap. If I ever have a daughter, I want her to grow up to be just like this woman.

Milton fixes her car, and they embark on the trip to save the baby. They also wind up punching out a hussy banging Piper's man, and Piper's man for hitting Piper in retaliation. Milton may be a man condemned to Hell, but he's still a good man.

They also run into this guy:

The credits list him as The Accountant, played by William Fichtner. I think he's some kind of devil reclamation agent, pursuing Milton, to take him back to perdition. He doesn't try too hard to catch him, and eventually helps Milton succeed in his quest. Fitchner brings the right amount of pencil pusher mixed with the detached creepiness one would expect from Hell's accountant. He's actually my favourite character in this movie, because of his very calm, 'I win either way' attitude. Also because he drives a tanker full of hydrogen, whistling while fully intending to crash it and make it blow up, just to break a road block for Milton.

The final show down is an epic, explosion-filled battle. Milton get hold of a Chevelle SS, and uses it as a weapon as much as the shotgun he carries. The bad guy is a skeezey guy, played by Billy Burke. He plays the role well, you just can't find anything to like about the guy. I mean, he made a walking stick out of the femur of Milton's daughter, then beats Milton half senseless with it.

In the end, the bad guy gets blown to pieces, the baby is saved, and the waitress becomes a mom. Really, I think every revenge movie should end the way this one did. The antihero gets a pat on the back from Hell's accountant, and drinks whiskey from the skull of his enemies.


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