The storytelling skills of video games has seen an astronomical rise over the past decade, rivaling that of TV and cinema – and in some cases bettering both. But where games fall to the wayside of their more experienced siblings is good ol' fashioned love making, or your simple titillating catalyst. 'Cause bloodshed in a game is fine, but breasts and intimacy is a huge no-no!
But that may not be the case for these ten brave, strange and collar warming games. These ten took the challenge of attempting to make video games sexy and ran with it, admittedly head first into walls but at least they tried and gave us this list to gawp at.
10. Monster Girl Quest
An eroge game where you travel the land doing battle against sexy monster ladies of all shapes and sizes. But watch out, if you manage to lose to one of these furry femmes, your female hero will have to indulge in a bit of nookie before being disrobed and gobbled up like the fine piece of meat that you are.
9. Leisure Suit Larry
One of the longest running 'Adults Only' franchises in gaming, LSL slips you into the loafers of the super horny titular... hero (?) as he attempts to sleep with any woman that moves by solving puzzles. Puzzles like "am I really that much of a creep?" Or, "maybe if I wore more pants then I would discover love."
8. Rinse and Repeat
Guess what this one's about? Correct! Rinse and Repeat's M.O. is rubbing chiseled dudes down in a public shower. Now if that doesn't get you all lathered up, I'm not sure what will!
7. Seduce Me
Bet you're positively salivating over the prospect of playing this erotic strategy game, where the aim is to bed ladies with conversation – via an intimidating looking card game mechanic – at a super swanky party! Exciting right? Luckily for you, if you're successful in wooing a lady, you'll be treated to some of the most graphic scenes of a sexual nature I've seen in a game. For realz.
6. Playboy: The Mansion
The vanilla version of this titillating title was more of a The Sims clone where you got to interact with a silken robe wearing Hugh Hefner and photograph busty sprites. But in Playboy: The Mansion's expansion pack, the action got... well expanded somewhat.
The Private Party shook things up a bit by allowing the bunnies of the Playboy mansion to free themselves of their underwear and indulge in saucy hot tub action with some deep pocketed perv. Insert joke about doing it like bunnies.
5. Singles: Flirt Up Your Life - Extended Version
This game was torn apart by critics calling it a glorified The Sims rip off, which is kinda fair. But what stood it apart from the world's number 1 torture sim is total nudity and some pretty eyebrow raising sex scenes. Wow Sims - I mean Singles, you guys are pretty damn limber!
4. Hurt Me Plenty
Combined with the awesome Leap Motion hand-tracking peripheral, this spank-em-up takes you on a journey through foreplay as you spank a half-dressed dude into submission. Both hilarious and an interesting discussion for how intimacy is handled in games, just make sure you have some talc handy.
3. Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Director's Cut
Gaming auteur David Cage is no stranger to super awkward sex scenes in games, and his first foray into dead eyed dolls rubbing up against each other came in Fahrenheit – or Indigo Prophecy to you and me.
This game was originally intended to have its characters embroiled in all manners of NSFW nudey funs, but due to Sony and Microsoft's strict anti-Adult's Only gaming policy, the sex was toned down significantly. So significantly, Carla's nipples disappeared from the game via the means of some form of dark wizardry.
But hey, thanks to a PC exclusive Director's Cut edition, all the flesh has been thrown back in for your eager eyes. Glory be!
2. Tokimeki Check-In!
Over to anime porn translating extraordinaires Peach Princess's dating sim Tokimeki Check-In!. This game involves the hero at the behest of wanton affections from a whole host of single anime ladies, in a world where women are all mysteriously over a double D-cup and hot springs are a plenty.
Yes, there is nudity. Awkward animated nudity.
1. Biocock Intimate
A pretty self-explanatory parody of the seminal FPS Bioshock Infinite, but instead of navigating your way around the sumptuous streets of Colombia, you're navigating Elizabeth's way around Booker's booker. Which just goes to show that there's nothing quite like a spot of incestuous rule 34, is there kids?