Last year we had some some amazing movies, but not many of them were face melting. In case you are unfamiliar with the term “to melt your face” or “face melt,” I will give you the Urban Dictionary definition:
“To rock your fucking face off. The condition in which, due to an extreme exposure to an event of epic Awesomeness, Horror or any other emotion on the more extreme end of the spectrum of emotions, one loses all perception of space and time including (but not limited to) a brief lapse in physical awareness. Such an emotional rush can even override Pain, which in some cases may be the cause of the rush.”
I can’t speak for all of you, but there was only one movie that melted my face in 2015…Mad Max Fury Road. That movie was so epic and balls to the walls that I literally lost all physical awareness. I got completely engrossed in everything that was going on that I felt like I was right there with Max and Imperator Furiosa. But anyway, the past is the past lets look forward to this awesome year that is ahead of us. This list started as 10 movies but there lies so much awesomeness ahead that I just couldn’t keep the list that short.
Here are 13 movies that are guaranteed melt our faces in 2016:
1. Jane Got a Gun. (1/29/16)
Director: Gavin O'Connor
Stars: Natalie Portman, Joel Edgerton, Ewan McGregor
Rating: R for violence and some language
Jane Got a Gun follows our protagonist Jane who asks her ex-fiance for help saving her husband from a gang. Natalie Portman as a gun slinger in the wild west? How could this movie NOT be anything but amazing?
2. 10 Cloverfield Lane (3/11/2016)
Director: Dan Trachtenberg
Stars: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, John Goodman, John Gallagher Jr.
This sequel to the face melting 2008 movie Cloverfield is about a girl that wakes up from a car accident in the basement of a man's home that she doesn't know. He claims that he saved her from a chemical attack and that the outside world is unoccupiable. However, that isn't necessarily the truth and as the tagline states "monsters come in many forms."
3. The Witch (2/19/2016)
Director: Robert Eggers
Stars: Anya Taylor-Joy, Ralph Ineson, Katie Dickie
Rating: R for disturbing violent content and graphic nudity.
Have you seen the movie Antichrist? Well, it is one of those rare movies that are so engaging and disturbing that you can't watch it more than once. The movie literally lingered in my mind for days. I have a feeling this movie is going to be the exact same way.
The Witch is set in 1630 New England and follows a family as it faces witchcraft and black magic. This one looks truly terrifying.
4. Suicide Squad (8/5/2016)
Director: David Ayer
Stars: Margot Robbie, Scott Eastwood, Will Smith
I mean seriously. Could a cast get more yummy? Suicide Squad is about a government agency that promises a group of super villains clemency...if they perform the dangerous missions that they are presented with. My face melts just thinking about finally seeing Harley Quinn on the big screen.
5. Deadpool (2/12/2016)
Director: Tim Miller
Stars: Morena Baccarin, Gina Carano, Ryan Reynolds
Rating: R for strong violence and language throughout, sexual content and graphic nudity.
Finally! We haven't seen a hard R comic book movie since Watchmen. Its about time we got a Marvel movie that is made for adults and more true to the comic books. If they were all true, most comic book movies would also be a hard R.
Deadpool is about a mercenary that acquires accelerated healing powers along with an alter ego.
Caution. Trailer is NSFW...and super face melting.
6. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (3/25/16)
Director: Zack Snyder
Stars: Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Amy Adams
Rating: PG - 13 for intense sequences of action throughout, and some sensuality.
Whether you loved or hated Man of Steel everyone knows that this is a nerds dream come true. Like, I'm geeking out. Zack Snyder directing this movie with such a fantastic cast is going to not only melt your face, it will melt your grandma in Florida's face as well.
Due to rather lengthy synopsis, I'll give you the IMDB version: "Fearing the actions of Superman is left unchecked, Batman takes on Superman, while the world wrestles with what kind of a hero it really needs. With Batman and Superman fighting each other, a new threat Doomsday is created by Lex Luthor. It's up to Superman and Batman to set aside their differences along with Wonder Woman to stop Lex Luthor and Doomsday from destroying Metropolis."
7. X-Men Apocalypse (5/27/2016)
Director: Bryan Singer
Stars: Oscar Isaac, Jennifer Lawrence, Michael Fassbender
I know I know, lots of super hero movies! But you have to admit, the line up is epic. This movie focuses on the X-Men uniting to battle a mutant that is more powerful than we have ever seen...the world's first mutant Apocalypse.
8. The Conjuring 2: The Endfield Poltergeist (6/10/2016)
Director: James Wan
Stars: Vera Farming, Patrick Wilson, Franka Potente
Once again we get to witness Lorraine and Ed Warren battle malicious spirits. This story has been done over and over again, but you can't deny that James Wan provides an amazing horror movie.
9. Independence Day: Resurgence (6/24/2016)
Director: Roland Emmerich
Stars: Liam Hemsworth, Joey King, Maika Monroe
Now I have to give you a bit of a back ground story about the original Independence Day. When it was released I was ten years old. My dad took me to the theater to see the movie and I was TERRIFIED. Like, couldn't sleep for days. My dad, the jokester that he is, went to the store and bought a three foot tall toy of the alien. Important fact: The alien had a motion sensor that when activated the face opened and it made that awful high pitch screech. I stopped by home before the baby sitter to drop my books off and as I entered my room I heard a noise. I turned around and saw this thing flailing its arms screaming at me! I started screaming bloody murder and ran to the neighbors. I made my entire neighbor's family go in and check to see what it was....needless to say they came out laughing holding the toy. #thanksdad! Won't live that one down.
Anyway, Earth is faced with the alien threat once again, but this time they (think) they are more prepared.
10. Ghostbusters (7/15/2016)
Director: Paul Feig
Stars: Chris Hemsworth, Kristin Wiig, Melissa McCarthy
The plot is unknown, however we do know that this is a female driven Ghostbusters movie. Normally I would be apprehensive, but with the cast involved I have to be somewhat optimistic. I must say though, no one can replace Bill or Sigourney.
No official trailer yet! However this fan made trailer is HILARIOUS:
11. Rings (4/1/2016)
Director: F. Javier Gutiérez
Stars: Johnny Galecki, Aimee Teegarden, Laura Wiggins
Rating: Unknown but more than likely R
There isn't much known about Rings yet other than Samara is back with her all too familiar video tape. The original Ring movies and the first American remake were so good, lets reflect on how awesome this will probably be with the original American remake trailer below. And if you think about it, this is one of the ultimate urban legend movies on par with Candyman.
12. Captain America: Civil War (5/6/2105)
Director: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo
Stars: Scarlett Johansson, Elizabeth Olsen, Chris Evans
The last Captain America movie was absolutely face melting, and I have all confidence that this one will not be any less. There is definitely going to be some heartbreak with fans when some major characters die, that is a given. Basically the synopsis is Captain America and Iron Man finally duke it out.
13. Star Trek Beyond (7/22/2016)
Director: Justin Lin
Stars: Zoe Saldana, Idris Elba, Simon Pegg
The plot is still unknown, and little is revealed in the first trailer. I do have a huge feeling that this movie will actually be more "Star Trek like" than the others. The last two movies were epic, and entertaining...however they were not as complex and original as the all the series have been.