BySam Plank, writer at
"You have to be what you are. Whatever you are, you gotta be it." -Johnny Cash. Tweet a tweeter at my twitty twitter, @tw1tterintw1t
Sam Plank

Welcome to the Butthurt States of America.

In every corner of the world, there have been names for different periods throughout history. In China, they've had dynasties. In Africa, there have been kingdoms, periods and dynasties. In Europe, the Middle Ages and Georgian Era, to name just two. Even in the Americas, we've gone through Classic and Postclassic, Reconstruction and Progressive Eras, and we're now smack dab in the middle of the Information Age. We've also been bouncing around in an era that someone might call the P.C. Era or the Political Correctness Era. Better known to some of us as The Age of the Great Butthurt. Whatever you call it, it's gone beyond the ridiculous stage and into the realm of utter absurdity. For example; we've had transgenders around for quite a while now, but now it's spread from sexuality to age, race, and even if a person is disabled or not. And the liberal folks are adopting whatever is thrown their way, it seems. No matter where you turn, there's a chance you might, completely by accident, hurt someone's feelings and risk getting sued...or even worse, publicly humiliated on Facebook. Prepare yourself; you're about to enter a one way street named Easily Offended Way, to a town where no sane person wants to enter, Whineville. You're about to enter...The Butthurt Zone. And all ten of these happened this year. Seriously.

10. Transage?

You read that right. There is a 52 year old man out there who believes he's a 6 year old girl. His name was Paul Wolscht, but it's now Stefonknee Wolscht. Obviously, he's transgender, which would be cool and all if he didn't think he was 6. He was a married father of seven children, all of who he abandoned to pursue this new life of his, being a female. Something that is okay, except he ACTS LIKE HE'S SIX. His new adopted parents allow him to act this fantasy out, and force their children to play along, He even admitted to having a sexual relationship with his adoptive “father.” Where are the police? Social Services? The Common Sense...groups? Nowhere, because nobody wants to hurt his feelings and let him know how sick and twisted his actions, and his adoptive “parents” actions, really are.

9. Transracial!

This story started circulating the interwebs earlier this summer, but Madame Noire recently touched base again with what could be the worlds first openly transracial woman. Rachel Dolezal (same name before and after her reidentification) is white, but identifies as black. It started at a young age, when she would draw pictures of herself as a black girl. The peach crayons just didn't resonate with her, she says. Unlike Stefonknee, who could be considered a danger to children with is behavior, Rachel isn't really a danger to her kids, except for the national attention she's brought herself and her family. She questions if her kids are better off without her, which isn't really the case. But again, there are groups of people that encourage all this “transwhatever” behavior, and they are 100% behind Rachel and her self-discovery.

8. Transpecies? Come on now...

In June, Vice wrote an article, a very serious-sounding one at that, about otherkin. People who identify as animals instead of humans. It's something that's been gaining popularity since 2012, and otherkins can be found on Reddit and Tumblr, among other forums. You take a person who isn't happy with being a human, takes a dream about himself becoming a fox a little too literally, and once again, you end up with a person...otherkin, that is, that can't be reasoned with, for fear of being called a bigot or hater. It's just not politically correct to tell someone they're acting insane, and they need to check themselves into a mental hospital, because normal people accept that they're a certain race, species or sex. Or, they may commit suicide, tragically, if they're told what they're doing is just plain wrong. Google “Stalking Cat Dennis Anver” and you'll see a man who altered his teeth, facial bone structure, his skin with tattoos multiple facial barbell piercings, and even his eyes with cat-like contacts, all because he identified as a cat.

Just a warning; the next trans idea on the list might put some folks over the edge.

7. Transabled

This should be the final straw for society, but it won't be, since we're all cruising happily down Butthurt Drive. A woman in North Carolina, Jewel Shuping has something called Body Integrity Identity Disorder. There really is a name for everything these days. Basically, there are people out there who aren't satisfied with not being disabled. They absolutely refuse to believe they're messed up in the head, and demand to be “altered,” so they can be disabled. Jewel had her psychologist pour drain cleaner into her eyes so she could be blind. This stuff just can't be made up. Instead of getting the woman psychological help like they were supposed to, her shrink buckled to her demands and blinded her.

It took half a year for the blinding treatment to finally work. Six months of agonizing, searing pain, instead of finding the woman help. Again, it's just not nice to argue with people who want to be something completely different.

6. It's now time to pander pedophiles has taken it upon themselves to jump in the driver's seat on this bus ride. They published an article in September that actually tries to make you feel sorry for a pedophile. Because hey, we can't hurt their feelings, right? It was about Todd Nickerson, a self-professed pedo. He says he never has touched a child sexually, and never will, but finds himself sexually attracted to them. Todd says he was molested by a friend of his grandparents when he was seven. The man touched him for several minutes while they were alone. He says it wasn't traumatic for him; he blames his pedophilia on being born without his right hand. Nobody will be able to open his eyes to the truth, however; their words will either fall on deaf ears, or they'll be afraid of being chastised by the entire planet, so they'll keep quiet. Because nobody to write an scathing article about the and their un-PC ways.

5. Not everyone deserves a trophy

This has been around for a while, but recently hit headlines again, thanks to Pittsburgh Steeler's James Harrison coming out and saying two trophies his 6 and 8 year old sons brought home one day were returned. He didn't think they should get trophies for just participating. Would James be where he is today if he thought just showing up was good enough for a reward? Probably not. Surprisingly, a lot of folks sided with James, but plenty didn't, saying we're hurting our kids' feelings by not giving them big expensive awards for coming in last place. All these years of rewarding kids for first, second and third places in sports with trophies has done SO much harm; just look at all the successful athletes we have now. So what must society do? Change things, before some kid comes home crying because another kid was better at him than something.

4. The Death of Halloween

Or at least, the death of it in Seth Boyden Elementary School in New Jersey this year. Due to diversity, the statement said, Halloween for 2015 was cancelled at the school. Because so many students (about 20 percent) couldn't participate in 2014's festivities, due to their religion saying they can't put a costume on and walk in a parade, this year, the PTA voted to just not have it, and not risk little Jonny or Susie getting their feelings hurt. Should those children stay inside and do something else while 80% of the student body celebrates something as harmless as Halloween? No way. Everyone should miss out because of the feelings of a few. Maybe they were giving out trophies to the best costume? Oh, the humanity!

3. PC Colleges? Since when?

Most of the population who was born more than 20-30 years ago remembers college as a pretty fun time, except for the studying part. You were (generally) on your own, living it up between your studies and horrible job, and it was great. Apparently, that's not how it is at campuses across the nation now, according to Chris Rock and Larry the Cable Guy, who won't perform at colleges. They just don't want to deal with the PC crowd.

But that's not all; in November, Andrea Quenette, a KU professor, had a discussion about race and racism with her class. The subject came up when a student asked how to address racism in the classroom, and what the campus was doing to stop it. Quenette said how she really hasn't ever seen racism, that is wasn't like “nigger” was spray-painted on walls or anything. Being honest these days will get you nowhere, except maybe targeted for termination by a couple of butthurt, whiney kids who could not BELIEVE she said the n-word! They felt uncomfortable (their word), so hey, they should get a professor fired. The latest available news is that Quenette was being investigated, but as of now, she still has a faculty page on the KU website. For now.

2. America the Hurtful

Not wanting to offend a small minority of students who, even though they were living in America, enjoying American culture and hamburgers, Jackson Hole High School in Wyoming almost didn't have America Day. Parents and students were pretty miffed about this, so they showed up and celebrated America that day anyway. But the bad outweighs the good here; nothing is safe, even being proud of your own country. Because someone living in that same country might not like that country, and might get offended that you do.

1. Science? Screw that. Don't offend me.

The last entry is one that not only is disgusting to the typical human being, or should be, but it also basically spits in the face of science and known fact. In an interview earlier in December of this year, an article on “outed” a man who has been in love with his sister for 20 years, and they even have a kid together. Outed being a term used loosely, because for the interview, the man asked to talk over skype, wore dark sunglasses and a hat, so his identity would be kept secret. He even told the interviewer to not release any of his personal details. So even HE knows it's wrong. The entire article paints a pretty obvious picture of how nothing is wrong with this, and quotes him as saying that disgust is not a reason to imprison others, since in their country, they were considered criminals. It's not the disgusting part that people are afraid to speak out about, it's ignoring the fact that two siblings cannot reproduce without risking serious consequence. And yes, it's also very freaking disgusting. But to save them from having their feelings hurt, publish articles that pretty much flat out say “we're behind you in your decisions 100%, no matter sick and twisted they may be.”


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