Spoilers ahead, although if you've not seen the film yet then really, bro, you're slacking. Sort it out.
"I'm no one."
So says Rey, surname unknown, in Star Wars: The Force Awakens. The theme of Rey's parentage — the void in her life, the blind hope that sometime soon she will find out who she is and where she comes from — is a pertinent one in a franchise which has always been about family, once the spaceships and lightsabers are stripped away.
But Rey is not no one. Somewhere in the vastness of the galaxy live, or lived, her parents. Most people seem invested in the idea that Rey is a Skywalker. Personally, I subscribe to another theory...
Rey is a Kenobi
TFA dropped an avalanche of hints designed to make the audience believe that Rey is the daughter of Luke Skywalker, but I refute that. Look a little deeper, and the signs seem to point toward another iconic lineage: the Kenobi family.
So without further ado, here are five reasons why Rey No-name is in fact descended from Obi-Wan.
1. She already met Luke Skywalker
Think about it. Rey has already come face to face with Luke Skywalker. If her father is still alive, would Abrams really blow that big reunion on the first film of the new trilogy, at a time when Rey doesn't even realize who Luke is to her?
It could be that the opening moments of Episode 8 pick up precisely where The Force Awakens left off, and Luke has an "I am your father" moment with Rey. Otherwise, I believe he fulfills a different role in her life: the mentor and father figure, in the absence of an actual father.
Because, you know, Obi-Wan's dead.
2. Rey's voice
This may seem like a minor detail, but Daisy Ridley uses her native English accent to portray Rey. And who else spoke in that accent? Old man Kenobi himself.
You could strike that off as coincidence — if not for the fact that John Boyega voices Finn with an American dialect, despite being British. The intention, it would seem, is to differentiate Rey, signifying a link back to the Kenobi bloodline.
3. The lightsaber vision
During the scene in which Rey handles Luke's old, blue lightsaber — which, perhaps crucially, was in Obi-Wan's possession for many years — at Maz Kanata's castle, she has a terrifying vision of Kylo and the Knights of Ren. During that vision she hears the voice of Obi-Wan talking to her.
"Rey, these are your first steps."
Do Obi-Wan's words represent some kind of long-buried memory from Rey's youth?
4. The Jedi mind trick
As everybody knows, Obi-Wan Kenobi was the master of the Jedi mind trick.
Although, frankly, he could have been a little more subtle about it. Anyway, Rey practices a similar mind trick on a guard to escape captivity at Starkiller base.
As Qui-Gon Jinn proved before his daughter was taken three times by Serbian gangsters, not just anybody can successfully pull off the mind trick...
5. "They're never coming back..."
Inside Maz Kanata's smugglers' paradise on Takodana, after encouraging Rey to take the lightsaber, Maz says something which has the feel of a major hint...
"Whoever you were waiting for on Jakku, they're never coming back."
Obi-Wan can never come back. Luke, however, is very much alive, and could if he wanted to.
Bonus clue: "Who's the girl?"
During the same sequence, shortly after the gang arrive at Maz's castle, she addresses Han and asks: "Who's the girl?" Tellingly, Abrams immediately cuts to a shot of Rey asking Finn to stay, and we don't see Han's response, suggesting he knows who she is but we're not allowed to... yet.
That said, this doesn't actually support Rey being a Kenobi or a Skywalker either way. I just found it interesting, and somebody smarter than me could no doubt spin a convincing theory out of it.
Credit to John Keaveney for the truly incredible poster art. Let me know which legendary Star Wars clan you think Rey belongs to.