We all know Pokémon as the larger than life, super cutesy "pocket sized" critters that we kidnap and force to fight each other whether we're traveling from city to city or taking part in some faux-conglomerate sponsored huge stadium event.
Now 20 years on since Pokémon's introduction to the west and the plethora of Rule 34 fan art that's exploded and stuck to the web, we can get to know them that little bit more intimately with some eye-wateringly awkward fan art with all manners of curves and bulges.
But what if the crazy fan art you've come across wasn't enough to quench your thirst for 34? What if you wanted to see "sexy" Pokémon in action, battling it out for glory and validation? Well you're in luck!
Pocket Master is a totally unofficial strategy game which puts you in the shoes of a trainer who... captures young, scantily clad women that happen to kinda look like legit Pokémon, and then forces them to fight each other! Why? Why for your own twisted, sexual fantasies of course!
The game plays out like a "sexy" version of Red & Blue where you have to choose between sexy Bulbasaur, sexy Charmander or... sexy... Squirtle?
And eventually take on sexy Mewtwo — yes Mewtwo, they couldn't even be bothered to change the name — who is now a sexy anime Pokébabe...
...in some pretty dull looking strategy action, that is entirely devoid of action. Check it out in this video below.
I'm amazed that this has managed to slip its way onto Apple's App Store and Google's Play Store, which just goes to show quality control isn't so important over at their ivory towers. Which is sad really.
I wonder what Nintendo and the Pokémon Company think of this?