Holy f*ck. She's here, gazing at me with an unnerving expression, holding a gun.
This is an excerpt from page 309 of Fifty Shades Darker, a book which may not yet be regarded as a modern literary classic, but certainly works as slickly entertaining erotic fiction for the smartphone generation, full of racy quotes perfect for a quick LOL on Twitter.
A lot has been said about the sex aspect of the Fifty Shades franchise, but one thing that's not been addressed much is that the actual plot of the books, beyond the sex and especially in Darker and Freed, has a thrillerish vibe.
If that didn't really translate in last year's Fifty Shades of Grey, we might still be in for a pleasant surprise - not the kind involving liaisons on the billiard table - when sequel Fifty Shades Darker hits theaters in 2017.
Here's Dakota Johnson talking to Access Hollywood about a shift in tone for the sequel, as well as the awkward nature of filming sex scenes:
"The story is sort of like a thriller now, and it gets kind of scary... it's awesome. [The sex scenes] involve a lot of specific movement, choreography, which is really interesting to me... It doesn't ever get easy. It's not like I'm like, 'Let's do this!'"
Kind of makes sense when you consider that James Foley is directing, his recent work (House of Cards, Hannibal) having been mostly in the realm of thriller. Two of the chief story arcs running through Fifty Shades Darker and into Freed are the jealous interferences of Christian's former Mrs. Robinson-esque lover, Elena Lincoln, and his childhood friend turned self-styled arch enemy Jack Hyde.
Jealousy is a powerful motivator in fiction, and if Foley can capture some of the passion of the aforementioned projects into Darker, he might be able to build a great deal more tension than was achieved in the first movie.
Speaking of Jack Hyde, there's still no official word on who has been cast in perhaps the most crucial new role in the franchise going forward, which got me thinking about a few actors who could perhaps do Hyde justice... and one name instantly came to mind.
That's right: who better to tap into the charming sociopathy of Jack Hyde than Cillian Murphy? The Inception, Dark Knight and Peaky Blinders star routinely excels at playing villains who may not be sympathetic but still retain a human edge.
Hyde does have a somewhat well thought-out backstory (he was enraged when Christian, not him, was chosen for adoption by the Greys) which is needed to justify his outlandish actions in the books (hiring and then hitting on Ana in a misguided attempt at vengeance). Having Murphy on board would be a major coup for the franchise.
Whoever is cast - and it shouldn't be long, with shooting commencing this month - needs to bring some real menace if Darker is going to have that thriller-ish edge that Johnson speaks of. Give us your best, Foley.