Another day, another bit of promotion released for Deadpool. Not that anyone's complaining - all the hype is doing is getting us even more pumped for February 12. Today, Fox released character bios for the movie in the form of tongue-in-cheek infographics that should get you up to speed before the movie hits theaters. These bios come straight from the studio, but Comicbook.com helpfully screenshot them.
First up, the titular character. Deadpool, the man, the myth, the legend - at least, that's what his multiple personalities tell him. Wade Wilson, a.k.a. Deadpool, a.k.a. the Merc with a Mouth. He slices, he dices, he stabs - he's like a Slap Chop with no off switch. In the immortal words of Ryan Reynolds, holy frosted fuck-nuggets! He's not okay in the head and that's just how we like him.
Next is Deadpool's "future baby mama," Vanessa Carlysle. In the comics, she's a shapeshifting mutant known as Copycat, but whether or not we'll get to see her reveal her powers in the movie remains to be seen. In any case, she's Wade Wilson's perfect match, just as tough and crazy and unpredictable as he is. In other words, she's awesome.
Piotr Nikolaievitch Rasputin, a.k.a. Colossus, member of the X-Men and reluctant ally to Deadpool...possibly only so he can keep pestering him about joining the X-Men. He's large, he's in charge, and he can punch through a wall as easily as he can punch through your face.
Negasonic Teenage Warhead
Ellie Phimister, a.k.a. Negasonic Teenage What-the-shit (at least, according to Deadpool), a young mutant and apprentice to Colossus. She's surly. She's angsty. And she can blow your ass to bits with her fiery atomic powers. Basically, she's the scariest teenager ever.
Deadpool's nemesis and the head douchebag of the movie. Seriously, who steals someone's future baby mama? Ajax, that's who. He underwent the same Weapon X program as Wade Wilson and now he's a formidable adversary, just as skilled with weapons and with an added inability to feel pain. What a dick.
Angel Dust, a.k.a. Jose Canseco, a.k.a. Less Angry Rosie O'Donnell (again, according only to Deadpool). If Ajax is the brains, she is the brawn, and man, can she throw down. She's piss-mean and has a hair trigger temper to boot. When she plays "Who Can Fuck Someone Up the Worst?" Angel Dust wins every time.
Deadpool is in theaters on Friday, February 12th.