ByMark Hofmeyer, writer at
Awesomeness is my goal.
Mark Hofmeyer

The horror world is chock full of jerky creatures wiping out nubile co-eds. These poor people never had a chance as dream creatures, immortal hockey players and raisers of Hell crushed their skulls and spirits.

These fights feature my favorite human vs. monster/vampire/troll battles. These folk didn’t back down and tried really hard to prevent themselves from becoming blood geysers. They stood up to insurmountable odds and occasionally survived against terrible odds. You have to appreciate people who put their neck on the line to prevent a greater evil from hurting the world.

1. 'The Descent' – The Crawler Fight


This is the direction that director Neil Marshall (Dog Soldiers, Doomsday) gave to the participants of the fights.

Neil: (to crawlers) Go for the neck. (to women) Don’t let them get your neck.

The fights were primal brawls that featured lots of flailing, blood and death. They played believably and they weren't drawn out. The opening fight between Juno and one of the crawlers was brilliant. The poor lady was struggling to save her friend from being dragged away and it resulted in a violent scrap for life. I left the theater out of breath and really stressed out. They don’t make urgent horror like this anymore.

2. 'Drag Me To Hell' – Car Park Throwdown


I beat you, you old bitch!

Leave it up to Sam Raimi to provide an entertaining brawl between an elderly gypsy woman and a young heroine. In one fight we get an old woman being stapled in the face, dentures exploding out of a mouth and a face gumming. It is a bonkers fight that is pure popcorn fun. Sam Raimi knows how to entertain and he adds levity to the horror which makes every fight surprising. I love every second of this fight and consider Drag Me To Hell to be my favorite horror film.

3. 'Aliens' – Ripley vs. the Queen Alien


Get away from her you bitch.

I think it is awesome that Ripley would say this to a pissed off alien queen. This is one of the most iconic fight scenes ever. I love that Ripley put her neck on the line to battle an acid blooded and dagger tailed alien that was really pissed off. It set the standard for badass women and will never not be awesome.

4. 'Ernest Scared Stupid' – Troll Meets Miak and a Large Truck


How about a bumper sandwich booger lips!

Ernest and Trantor battle in schools, tree houses and on highways. They trade barbs, bruises and bad jokes. Ernest Scared Stupid is the only film to ever give me nightmares and this troll is a perfect example of an evil killing force. The director admitted to making this creature too scary and it shows as Trantor continually tries to murder Ernest in terrible ways. You gotta appreciate that Ernest hangs in there and unwittingly dances his way to victory.

5. 'Jason Takes Manhattan' – A Puncher’s Chance


I respect the boxer for making a final stand. His punches were hard, his form solid and intention good. However, he should have known that he was punching an immortal killing machine whose face was blocked by a hockey mask. The decapitating punch by Jason broke all known knowledge of the human body. His punch was so hard that skin, bone, veins, arteries, nerves and more neck stuff instantly popped off. What adds injury to decapitation is that the head rolls down into a trash can.


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