ByJuliana B., writer at Creators.co
I'm a TV nerd. SciFi, Fantasy, Thriller, Anime. Occasionally moved to write an article. Find me live tweeting @QueenofBasPays

Here are the thoughts I had as I watched the 1977 James Bond film, The Spy Who Loved Me, start to finish

  • Do spies have that much sex?
  • What sounds likes 80's music (during the ski jump).
  • Why does James Bond need a parachute with the British flag?
  • Are we ever going to see nude male silhouettes?
  • A woman spy called "Agent Triple X." Really?
  • "Comrade General?"
  • So many old white men.
  • These days no one feeds their enemies to sharks anymore. I kind of miss that.
  • White people, especially the British, like feeling special when they are abroad in non-white countries.
  • This is bad costuming for these would-be Egyptian women in the desert.
  • Misogyny, yes.
  • Ooh, fancy digs in Cairo.
  • This is the worst fight choreography.
  • The pyramids must be bomb at night.
  • Cannibal henchman.
  • Isn't that a Turkish dance?
  • Ooh, a black woman (behind Calvert)!
  • Why didn't she poison him?
  • No, seriously, what dance is that supposed to be?
  • What if Jaws had backed the van and blocked their exit point?
  • Yes, a gun. No, you got too close.
  • "Egyptian builders." Casual derogatory racism.
  • Oh my gosh James Bond, shut up. Your sarcastic comments and sexist banter aren't helping anyone.
  • What is this camp-ass song?
  • "Lawrence of Arabia"-ass music.
  • This woman just lost her spy lover thought to be killed in a British spy operation and she's cuddling up so fast to Bond? Yeah, okay.
  • Good for her, feminine wiles and all.
  • Of course the British are degrading some ruins as an office.
  • Spy one-upmanship.
  • Is that a slip or a negligee?
  • I'm so tired of his vampire stare.
  • How is he still alive? He was electrocuted in the mouth and knocked out the window of a moving car and then electrocuted again.
  • "You saved my life, let me repay you with my body!" Sleazetown. And this music doesn't help.
  • The hotelier is wearing a ruffled death dress.
  • I imagine that monstrosity of a lair might have been visible from the coast.
  • This interior design is forward thinking.
  • Because people send infiltrators without background knowledge.
  • Is he implying rising water levels from global warming or is this his evil plan?
  • So the villains have generally been like three steps ahead...
  • Well that plain with the motorcycle failed miserably.
  • If Jaws is still alive...oh! There he goes, unscathed.
  • Car submarine!!
  • Disco music!
  • Isn't the car sub losing pressure?
  • Pollution!
  • There is a car coming out of the ocean, don't go near it!
  • "You can't hold spy death against me!"
  • The commander sounds a bit rape-y.
  • Why is she taking a shower in his room? Is that safer for her (on the submarine full of males)? Why is the curtain open? Submarines don't have opaque shower doors?
  • Where did this man find his own personal navy? Is there a henchman career fair?
  • Stromberg's evil plan is not super clear. He's like an evil Aquaman.
  • Where are the women to repopulate his Atlantis?
  • Stromberg keeping the Soviet major to take to his Atlantis = implied rape.
  • Why was that dolly just there?
  • In this fight scene, the enemies are literally the reds. Not-so-subtle nod to communism.
  • Why were these henchman stashing grenades on a submarine? Like why?
  • Radiation.
  • Really? A first time for dismantling a nuclear bomb?
  • Somehow I don't believe Bond was far enough to not be affected by the detonation.
  • Yay! All the people we killed! Also an environmental disaster that will last decades!
  • Sexy sax.
  • Yeah, Stromberg is dead. All he does is kill people with buttons.
  • Wow, what a ridiculously phallic weapon.
  • Did he just die from gunshots to the balls?
  • Umm, here's Jaws.
  • Why isn't Bond shouting for the lady spy?
  • Death by magnet and sharks. Did not see that one.
  • Did he just bite the shark?
  • Who changed her into that ridiculous outfit?
  • Escape pod with books, liquor, and pillows - for sex.
  • "Before you kill me, let's Marvin Gaye and get it on."
  • Hey! Jaws is alive!
  • Peeping Toms!
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