ByKit Simpson Browne, writer at Creators.co
Writer-at-large. Bad jokes aplenty. Can be gently prodded on Twitter at @kitsb1
Kit Simpson Browne

Now, for a group of outrageously powerful meta-humans, our favorite Marvel and DC heroes sure do tend to come across as well-balanced, put-together and, dare I say it, happy-go-lucky. Sure, a few of them are troubled by the darkness inside of them, and sure, there are the likes of Deadpool, Wolverine, and Batman who push the boundaries of what it is to be a hero, but in large part, they're honest, decent people who do the right thing at every available opportunity.

Or are they?

Y'see, if you take a look under the surface of comic book super-heroism, there's a pretty good chance you'll notice that...

A Whole Lot of Our Favorite Superheroes are Pretty Darned Messed Up

Indeed, as the good folks over at All Things DC and Marvel have long since highlighted in visual form, pretty much every superhero out there either has a tendency to do terrible, terrible things, or is crippled by some sort of devastating personal neurosis.

Below are 11 of the most intriguing.

First up?

11. Daredevil Is Basically a Walking Invasion of Your Constitutional Rights

You'll note that at no point does he have a warrant for this...

That being said...

10. He's Nothing Compared to Superman

And you were worried about the NSA...

Meanwhile...

9. Star-Lord Might Not Be as Nice a Guy as You Thought

Now, in fairness, that's largely the result of collateral damage, but that's still a long, long way from OK, Pete...

Next up?

8. There's a Reason Spider-Man Has Performance Anxiety

Nowadays? Not so much...

In fairness, though, he's never quite matched up to a certain Norse god of thunder...

7. It Turns Out Thor Is a Walking, Quothing WMD

In other words? Don't ask him to play Hungry Hungry Hippos...

That being said, he'd still make a better holiday visitor than Lobo...

6. Lobo Isn't a Huge Fan of the Holidays

Though, in fairness, he most likely wouldn't have even tried it in the Marvel universe...

5. Santa Makes Apocalypse Look Like Beak

(And if you want to know why that's a bad thing, just type in 'X-Men Beak' on your friendly neighborhood search engine)

More importantly though, that power puts a very different spin on Santa's life's mission of delivering millions of toys, and completely ignoring Earth-threatening attackers like Galactus, Thanos, and Apocalypse...

Of course, villains have issues too, though. For instance...

4. The Joker Is Actually the Sanest Person in the DC Universe

Which is a) terrifying, and b) explains a lot.

Meanwhile, over in Tony Stark's life-long ego trip...

3. Iron Man Doesn't 'Do' Trust

Which is kind of a dick move, when you think about it.

Then again, the Marvel Universe is slowly growing more adult...

2. Jessica Jones Gives Precisely None of These

Which is inevitably part of her charm...

And, finally?

1. The Yellow Lantern Corps Has the Universe's Worst Screening Process

After all, nothing seems like a worse idea than teaming up Alien and Predator in a super-club powered by fear.

The main takeaway from all of that, though (other than that you probably shouldn't trust most superheroes any further than you can throw 'em)? That's some damn fine fact work there from All Things DC and Marvel.

Nicely played, ATDAM... Nicely played...

What do you think, though?

Poll

What superhero fact are you most traumatized by?

via All Things DC and Marvel

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