ByAlex Clark, writer at

Does Batman v Superman Cereal give insight for the finished film? If so, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice will be a mess. It will be confusing with incompatible lead characters fighting for screen dominance. None of the aspects of the film will support any semblance of meaning and purpose and– Oh God… MY FEARS ARE COMING TRUE.

Much like Zack Snyder casting Ben Affleck as Batman, using chocolate-strawberry flavoring is a big risk for a cereal. Sure they could have gone for a simpler target, aimed for something easy and safe. But nope. They went against normal conventions and shot for the stars. They messed up, big time.

Ben Affleck does not taste right– I mean… chocolate-strawberry cereal does not taste right. The second I opened the box my nostrils were like, “Oh boy. It’s gonna be like that is it?”

To make matters worse, Batman’s cereal (and Superman’s for that matter) is just too darn small and dense to be enjoyable. It’s stuck in some awful limbo: too big to be Cocoa Pebbles and too small to be Cocoa Puffs. It’s official. Ben Affleck ruined Batman.

At least we still have Superman. I was one of the, seemingly, few people who thought Man of Steel was the best thing to feature Superman. I don’t think Henry Cavill is the best actor in the world, but he was good enough to make Man of Steel a Superman movie I wanted to see more than once. But what about his cereal?

Superman’s cereal flavor is supposed to be caramel crunch but I actually thought it smelled and tasted more like Waffle Crisp initially. I suppose Waffle Crisp doesn’t taste anything like waffles so it’s not like Superman’s cereal is some crazy Canadian syrup cereal. And if you let Superman linger on your tongue for a bit, you might actually get a hint of caramel corn. Good old American caramel corn.

Corn. Midwest. Smallville. Makes sense. This version of Superman isn’t perfect, but it’s just good enough to make me come back for a second serving.

Zack Snyder knows what he has in Superman. He’s got some basic-ass caramel corn. Superman’s good enough and enjoyable for a while. But after a while he starts to get boring. And then you start to realize why such a drastically new Batman was needed. We had to have this crazy new Batman to get us out of a funk. We need him to break tradition and add a crazy new flavor to our lives. We just gotta mix the two together in a bowl and enjoy the magnificent combination of flavors–

Nope. Never mind. It’s even worse together than I ever imagined.


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